


The Fading of Spring

by S4int4my



Category: Naruto
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Tenten (Naruto), Childhood Trauma, Slow Burn, Strong Haruno Sakura, Undecided Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:11:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26200141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S4int4my/pseuds/S4int4my
Summary: The attack from Suna and Sound left devastating consequences in its wake. Sakura must learn to navigate the aftermath. She and her new teammate will find out what the life of a shinobi really entails. Will they break or rise? AU. Character death.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 69





	1. Not Even Death . . .

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

~ " _Hello, I'm Tenten."_

" _Haruno, Sakura."_

_They shook hands, both clinging onto the warmth of the other. From now on, they could only rely on each other. Their original teams had been broken, and nothing could save them from the harsh world that they had chosen to live in._

" _Looks like we're a team, then."_

_Sakura nodded her head, dazed at their predicament._

" _Yes, let's do our best."~_

The cold sting of a kunai being pressed on the skin of her neck brought her out of her thoughts. She tapped at the forearm whose hand held the weapon. They let up, but not before slapping the back of her head. She pouted while dramatically cradling it.

"Baka, you got distracted."

"Tenten-chan, it's our day off, and we've been training all day. Look!" She pointed at the dusky sky. Tenten huffed but nodded.

"Fine, let's go eat. My treat." Sakura smiled brightly at her teammate before stepping off from the cliff where their spar had ended. As she plummeted down to the forest below, she called back over her shoulder, "Race you to sector three for the dessert bill!"

She heard Tenten yell indignantly after her, but Sakura heard a shift in the wind and knew that Tenten had given chase anyway. Approximately fifteen minutes later, two red-faced and out of breath young women stood near the Konoha hospital, which marked the end of sector four and the beginning of sector three, where all the shops and markets were. Both of the young women were sure that the other had lost. Coincidentally, Sakura caught sight of the spikey dark hair of Kotetsu as he came out of the hospital carrying a small stack of files in his hands (Running errands for the Hokage, most likely). As they made eye contact, he quickly looked away, hoping to sneak off.

"Kotetsu! Who won?" Sakura called out indignantly.

He sighed, before giving her a sheepish smile and scratching the back of his head, a tic he had before lying.

"I'm afraid I wasn't paying attention, Sakura-chan. You, I suppose?"

Tenten giggled, "That means I won."

Sakura huffed.

"I'm feeling up for a mountain of dango, Saki."

Sakura hummed in agreement before deflating at the thought of paying for their dango obsession. (They had once paid the equivalent of a B-ranked mission for an evening of gorging out on the sticky sweet dessert.) She made sure to peek inside of her money pouch to ensure she had enough spending money. It would be mortifying to have to dine-and-dash at her favorite dessert shop. They bid their farewells to Kotetsu before carrying on to their destination. Kotetsu smiled fondly at them as he watched them leave together side-by-side. 

_~Sakura watched from afar as Tenten stood before the memorial stone. Her shoulders shaking. The wind carried her broken sobs to Sakura, and she felt her heart lurch in sympathy for her new teammate and their fallen comrade, Lee. He had been such a strange, but animated character from the first day they had met during the chunin exams. He had proclaimed his undying love for her at first sight before challenging her crush over her affection. She had thought it so embarrassing and barbaric, yet it was also the funniest thing she had experienced._

_After, when they were all in the Forest of Death, he had tried to help her when the sound-nin had ganged up on her—fought until he couldn't stand up. He never gave up, much like Naruto. They had the type of perseverent attitude that a shinobi needed in order to succeed._ _He would have been a great shinobi. Better than herself. She sighed heavily for in the darkest corner of her mind a voice nagged at her to stop worrying about the dead for they no longer had a say. A ripple of self-loathing tore through her._

_Tenten suddenly fell to her knees, and Sakura shifted forward from her spot in the tree line. She stopped when she heard Tenten scream in anguish and anger. There wasn't anything she could do to make it better. Instead, she decided to sit down on the soft grass and wait. Honestly, she didn't know why she was spying on her new teammate. Maybe she was afraid that she might decide to leave her behind, or maybe a morbid part of her wanted to see what true mourning looked like? Either way there she was, watching from afar, letting Tenten grieve.~_

"Sakura!"

She was pulled out of her thoughts abruptly. Her gaze focused on her friend's brown eyes. She couldn't help but stare in marvel at the grey specks in them.

"Sorry, what?"

Tenten lifted an eyebrow at her. "I asked if you didn't like what you had ordered? You've barely touched your food."

Sakura looked down at her bowl of udon, surprised that she still had her bowl full, while her friend was already down to the last bite of her grilled eel.

"Oh."

Sakura quickly began to eat and practically inhaled her food as she realized how hungry she had been. She kept her head down knowing Tenten was most likely giving her strange looks. She was almost done when she heard Tenten sigh gravely. (Great, here came the inquisition.)

"Is this about our last mission? I know it was tough, but it was fairly standard and straightforward, not even a hitch. Still, though, do you want to talk about it?"

She looked up at her. Her brows drew up as she chewed the last of her food. She shook her head, as the images of men and women lying on a glossy marble floor circulated her mind.

"No, I agree. It was standard. I'm fine, really." Tenten didn't buy the lie. 

"You've been distracted today."

Sakura grabbed her cup of water and stared down at the reflection of her eyes. They had changed from when she was a genin. Back then they had been almost teal, but now they looked like the translucent shade of green that could be seen when the sun hit a patch of grass. Many people compared them to emeralds, but she would rather compare them to nature. After all, what was a rock compared to something living and thriving?

"Yes, it seems so." She took a sip from her water and relished in the cool feeling of the liquid pouring down her throat. The day had been so hot, and their training had felt endless.

"I've been thinking back to when we first met," she confided, finally.

"The chunin exams?"

"No."

"Ah." Tenten softened her gaze before pulling out her coin pouch. She set down the money for their meal before getting up. Sakura felt Tenten's warm hand find hers before being led out into the streets of Konoha. Around them, the chattering of their fellow citizens buzzed in their ears. Tenten held her hand firmly as they walked in silence. 

"Do you regret it?" Sakura almost missed her question as she had been admiring the ambiance around them, but the vulnerability in her teammate's tone caught her attention.

Sakura stopped walking, which caused Tenten to halt and look towards her.

"Never."

Tenten smiled prettily before tackling her into a bear hug. Sakura let out something between a laugh and a shriek at her friend's antics. It wasn't long before, she stopped struggling out of Tenten's arms. She settled her chin between the nook of her neck and shoulder.

"Girls like us . . . I'm lucky. Most of the teams from our unit have been deactivated. It's a harsh path we chose to bear, but we do it together. We do it well." She hugged Tenten tighter. "You've always taken care of me."

Tenten stepped out of their hug and gave her a sharp look. "You've taken care of me too, Sakura. Us against the world, remember?"

_~She was trapped in a cell. It was dark—it was always kept dark. They had lost communication with their captain over two weeks ago. They had been scoping out a point of interest in their investigation when they were ambushed by rogue-nin. They had been outnumbered and outmaneuvered. The nin had easily managed to separate them during the skirmish—taking them down was child's play to the rogue-nin. When they came to their senses, they had found that most of their clothes were missing—no hidden weapons, no hidden scrolls, and no radios. To make matters worse, a chakra suppression seal had been placed on them. They had been kept in a small house with four other women in the same predicament. There they learned that it was not the rogue-nin who ran the whole trafficking scheme but a wealthy businessman and his underground gang. He reminded her a lot of Gato, only that this man was a wolf in sheep's clothing. When his name came up in public, it was in a respectable light. He was a pillar of the community, giving to the poor, and holding the wealthy accountable._

_In the cover of the dark, he was a disgusting man. For a whole week, they stayed in that small house being subjected to his hell. Never once did they have the energy to fight back, as the seals were always checked and reinforced after a period of time. It felt like being drugged. They were always sleepy, and their bodies were always quivering as if cold. Then one day they were actually drugged, and when they came out of the haze they were in a facility with cells (more like cages)—as if they were animals. This time they counted more than thirty women being held in their same predicament, and some were even kunoichi. Those women, the kunoichi, scared her. They had been at the facility the longest and it showed. The facility, they learned, served to dehumanize the women, and make them forget life before the abuse. Many of the civilians they had come in with had already broken, and there were always new women to replace them. She and Tenten had been unnerved to their core when they found that one of the kunoichis had broken. She had been taken away by the two women who always came to collect the 'reeducated'._

_Tenten had been the first to lose it, not too long after they had taken away the older kunoichi. She began to scream like a madwoman. Sakura had tried to pacify her by telling her that everything would turn out fine, that they would be rescued, that they would find a way out—anything to keep her quiet, or else they would be taken away for torture. Two men came, but they only took Tenten away. As she waited, she began to hear a steady sound that only grew louder with the passing of time. Her breath quickened in fright, and it was only when she choked on a bit of spit and salt from her tears did she realize that she was crying heavily and uncontrollably. The steady sound that she had kept hearing was her heart beating out of her chest. That was when she realized, that she couldn't bear to be left alone by another teammate, and that she truly considered Tenten her teammate, and like Naruto—Kami it still hurt to think of him—teammate was tantamount to a friend._

_When Tenten came back, she came back shaking and dazed, but hidden in the palm of her shaking fist was a needle. She had managed to smuggle it out when they had injected her with a cocktail of drugs. As the ever aspiring fuinjutsu expert, she managed to counter the seal placed on the back of Sakura's neck with her own seal written in her blood. One day later, Sakura unintentionally recreated a scalpel with the little chakra she had accumulated. It was used on a guard, and then weapons had been gathered. Something woke up within her that day, and when she focused back in on the world it had been painted in red. Brown eyes with grey specks collided with translucent green ones._

" _Breathe, Sakura. Just breathe. You did what you had to. It was us or them. Okay? It's us against the world."_

_Circles were being rubbed on her back, but her fear did not stem from the loss of life but rather from gaining someone to lose, and what a terrifying thing that was.~_

"I just think that we're in a good place right now." Sakura frowned and looked at the ground. "Nothing good ever lasts . . . I just don't want this peace to end."

Understanding dawned on Tenten's expression, "You're right. Everything has been running too smoothly." She glanced around before continuing, "I'm afraid too, Sakura."

Tenten took her hand and began to guide her back on the path to the dango shop. It was only moments after she had begun walking ahead, that she suddenly stopped and turned around to Sakura once more. Her hand shot out to slap the back of her pink-haired friend's head.

"Baka, you'll truly never lose me." After a beat, she added, "Besides, you'll probably die before me, with how slow you've been during training," Tenten stuck her tongue out at her, "Stop being a downer, it's our day off!" She huffed before walking ahead.

Sakura cradled her head, but she heard Tenten whisper something under her breath. She was sure she wasn't supposed to have caught it, but she did. A teary smile made its way onto her face before she rushed after Tenten.

"Yes, Sempai!"

_Not even death can separate us, Saki_.


	2. The Past: Weakling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura sits in her safe space thinking back on the day of the attack. One of the Konoha 11 is dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

She sat on the floor of her bedroom, knees pulled up to her chin, arms wrapped tightly around herself. The lights were off, plunging the room into darkness. The moon's rays seeped in through her window. The shadows it cast were her only company, as she tried to escape the chaotic feelings of helplessness that coursed through her body like a fever.

Hot tears and sobs had come and gone, but still, the ugly feelings remained, along with a terrible headache that wouldn't leave her. She felt sad, horrified, tired, angry. Weak. She felt . . . Lost.

She thought back to when her childish illusions of safety were broken completely. The attack on Konoha had started around mid-afternoon. Instead of cheering on her teammates for a fight well fought, she was left to scramble around the stadium, terrified that Suna-nin or Sound-nin would slice her throat open. The genjutsu had been easy to break out of, but when she became aware of the situation, she had frozen in disbelief and fright.

_~ The haze was lifted as she sent a jolt of chakra through her system. Her eyes focused. Two rows down there was a Suna-nin standing in front of a sleeping Konoha citizen. She caught a flash of metal, and the spray of blood followed. She gasped._

_The Suna-nin moved on to the next person. She quickly sent out shuriken in their direction. (She only had a few more of those shuriken and two kunai in her weapons pouch. She really should have packed more, but she didn't think she would ever need to in her own territory.) The enemy-nin deflected most of them, but one had lodged itself into their eye. They howled in anguish, and it only took seconds for them to find out where the attack had come from. She scrambled out of her seat in time to miss well-aimed kunai lodge themselves deeply where she had been. She ran, tripping over others that were asleep—or were they dead? Her mind couldn't tell the difference. Everything was bathed in blood. The Suna-nin following her caught up and slammed her to the ground. She struggled for freedom and breath, but they were stronger and heavier. As she saw the glint of their weapon, she felt frustrated that she had never gotten to accomplish her dream (later she would ask herself what this dream had been). She had gotten distracted by something else, or rather someone else—dark hair that spiked at the back and dark eyes that never smiled came to mind._

_The Suna-nin suddenly fell atop of her. Dead. She struggled with finding her breath as shock and confusion washed over her like a tidal wave dragging her deep into their depths. She pushed them off and found a kunai embedded into the base of their neck. She looked around to find her savior but found that there were many battles ragging on around her. She could hear the cry of metal on metal, punches, whistling sounds, but it was all so faint as if she were underwater. Her heart was steadying and her breathe evening out. She looked around again and realized that Sound was also part of the attack against them._

_She thanked the heavens for her life and swiftly tugged the kunai from the base of the dead Suna-nin's skull. The wet sound it made as it came loose made her grimace. Cautiously, she crawled to a better hiding spot. She needed to think._

_Somewhere between finding a spot to hide and crawling through the stadium, deflecting stray kunai with the kunai that had saved her, she found herself breaking people out of the genjutsu._

_A chakra jolt to somebody's arm or leg._

" _Fi_ _nd cover. Sound and Suna are attacking."_

_On to the next person.~_

She felt her mind whisper insidious things that sent her heart racing, but when she tried to recall what her subconscious was saying, she could only see the images of the carnage that she had been witness to. The people of her village who she had once seen so full of life, now staring at things unseen in the next life. Her nails dug into the skin of her arms and her face scrunched up into an ugly expression. She had never been a pretty crier, even if she was a renowned crybaby. Though at the moment she hardly thought that that was such a significant thing to worry about, and instead found comfort in the darkness of her room. The shadows couldn't judge her.

_~ Kakashi-sensei had found her. Instead of being happy, she was shaken, as she saw him cut down his opponents with such ease. Killing was as easy as breathing to him, and she had never known this about her sensei until now. He was terrifying, and such a different character than the easy-going slouchy sensei that she was accustomed to seeing._

_Zabuza's apprentice, Haku, passed by her thoughts, then. She vaguely remembered how he had professed to Naruto that he only wished to be the perfect weapon for his master. The perfect weapon._ _Kakashi moved with such strength and speed. The power that radiated off of him was terrifying. In that snapshot of a moment, he was the perfect weapon for his village. She was slightly in awe and revulsed by this. (She would lie to herself for a while and deny that bitter envy didn't creep into her heart.)_

_He instructed her to gather Naruto and Shikamaru to go after Sasuke and Gara. Sasuke-kun was in danger! She had to go help him, but as they—with the addition of other genin of the rookie 9—were all leaving, she saw a small group of civilians huddled in a corner. She recognized some of them as a few of the people that she had helped out of the mass genjutsu. She gasped as she saw that there were small children in the crowd. They would be killed if they didn't get out of there. There were too many stray weapons shooting about and too many enemy-nin._

" _Leave without me, I have to do something."_

_Naruto protested loudly, but when she turned to him, he stopped. Whatever he saw in her pleading eyes was enough to sober him up. He nodded to her before telling her to stay safe. With or without his blessing, she would have gone, but she felt great love for her teammate as he accepted her decision. She picked up discarded kunai and shuriken from the ground to add to her arsenal._

" _Follow the pug. Save Sasuke!"_

_With that said she left the group. When she approached the huddled civilians, they further cowered in fear. All ninja must have looked like the enemies at that moment. She made sure to keep her tone even._

" _It's alright, I'm Leaf. We need to evacuate to the nearest emergency shelter. I can lead you there."_

_They looked terrified, and she could tell they were not keen on listening to her._

" _If you stay here, there is a greater chance that you'll die." A woman sobbed and clutched her child closer to her bosom. "I'll protect you with my life."_

_She received a few reluctant nods, and with that, she pointed to the path that they would have to take. She cast a very low-level genjutsu illusion that appeared like there were more dead bodies around them. Hopefully, the enemy would give this area less attention if they thought that they had already ravaged through it. She advised them to keep their pace erratic and not run in a straight line. It would give them a better chance of survival._

_She stayed in the middle in case the front or rear of the group was attacked._ _Thankfully the enemies did not pay them attention. All too busy fighting high ranking leaf officers. Every now and then, she had to deflect stray weapons from harming the group, but they eventually made it out of the seating area of the arena. She exhaled in relief. Now, to navigate the hallways and find the nearest exit._

_She kept a clone of herself in front of the group and one behind, a self-made diamond formation. It was her warning method, in case of an attack. She reasoned that the enemy would strike at the illusion, alerting her of their presence and distracting them long enough for her to get a shot at them. And so, for many gut-wrenching moments of running and stopping, and then looking over maps and signs scattered around the building, they persevered and found a route._

_They were nearing an exit when her rear clone was attacked. She quickly let reflex and muscle memory guide her as she threw a kunai aimed at the enemy's head. She missed but had instead made a target of his neck._

_She heard the sounds of wetness and choking before a heavy thud was heard, and knew that she had killed their attacker._

_Her first kill._

_She didn't have time to stop, though._

_Once out of the stadium, she found that the streets were also in pandemonium. The ground shook. Bombs? No, and yes. The vibrations she felt from the ground indicated that there was something big moving through the village. She calmed her group down and told them to follow her. They were in sector six, and the closest emergency shelter was five minutes from where they were._

_She didn't know how they made it. Thankfully other Leaf shinobi matched the number of enemies that littered the streets and they all managed to keep on the route. They even picked up more civilians along the way. When they all made it to the entrance of the shelter, higher-ranking officers quickly ushered her group in._

" _Jonin-san, what should I do now?"_

" _Rank?"_

" _Gennin."_

" _Inside. There are others taking names and handing out supplies. Go, help them."_

_She nodded. There was nothing more she could do, and that made her blood simmer.~_

Another wave of tears overtook her senses. She was tired of crying. Why was she even crying? The life of a shinobi was like this. They had warned her of this at the academy, so why hadn't she understood it then as she did now?

Maybe because now, she understood the consequences of other people's actions, of her actions. Now she knew that the peace that she had once taken for granted had always hung on such a thin thread. Anything and anyone could disturb that peace. Had she been more prepared, she could have made a difference. People she had once known were gone. Her elderly neighbor, who had been at the hospital for pneumonia, the two young children who sold flowers at the market, her fellow genin, Lee, who had also been at the hospital. There were so many—countless others—but at this moment those faces are who she saw when she closed her eyes. She couldn't even picture the two children as they had been before because she had actually seen their mangled bodies after the invasion had failed and the enemy had retreated. She had promptly let out all the contents of her stomach onto the ground and then took note of her pounding head, which still plagued her. She chalked it up to shock and was slightly relieved that she had not seen Lee's body. She didn't know how she would have handled that. 

She couldn't even begin to imagine the pain of Lee's teammates. From what she gathered, he hadn't even been conscious when he died. He had been in a medical coma to help him heal from Gara's attack during the preliminary fights. A bomb had been planted in the hospital, and it had destroyed a good portion of it—Lee's body and countless others, including her elderly neighbor, had been found among the wreckage.

_~ It had been a day since the attack, and already the news of their Hokage's death was still on the lips of many. The funeral would be held in a week. She hoped Naruto and Sasuke would be up before then. She knew Naruto had had a close relationship with their departed Hokage. He would want to be at the funeral._

_She was informed by her sensei that they had sustained non-life-threatening injuries but did have severe cases of chakra depletion. She was glad that they were alive. She didn't know what she would do without them. She was even starting to miss Naruto's antics, which was saying something since she always ended up yelling at him._

_She wanted to be there when they woke up. With her mind made up, she made her way to the hospital. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw rows of medical tents stationed outside of the building, but what shocked her the most was that a portion of the building was caved in._

_She instantly thought of Lee. He would have been at the hospital during the invasion. She needed to know if he was okay._

_She asked around, but many were too busy to pay her any mind. She almost gave up hope, until an elderly man told her there was a list of casualties posted on a board set up in front of the hospital. She ran to where she had been pointed to. The list was long. She ran her fingers down it, reading each name she passed._

_Ito, Mayu. She frowned sadly. That was the name of the old woman who lived beside her._

_She kept reading, and after a few names . . ._

_Rock Lee._

_Her heart dropped. She almost couldn't believe it._

_She didn't get the chance to properly thank him for saving her. She would never be able to tell him.~_

Her room was no longer plunged in darkness. A new day was beginning, its gloomy glow filling the space where tall shadows had kept her company. Her eyes would surely be swollen, but she was tasked with helping with village repairs today. She would be wearing goggles, and nobody would notice. Even if they did, she wasn't the only one in the same state.

At least, she would be meeting up with her team later. They would get through this together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last sentence, though! Who wants to tell her?


	3. The Past: Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

The sun had traveled across the sky and was finally beginning to retire for the day. Sakura paid it no mind as stayed looking out towards the main village gates.

_Gone._

They were all gone.

Her teammates: Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi-sensei. They had left her behind, each walking their own path separately.

Sasuke had defected—a traitor.

Naruto had left to train with a Sannin.

Kakashi-sensei had told her that he had been put back on his old schedule—before team seven.

She stared blankly ahead, blind to the world around her. Her mind replayed every moment leading up until now. What the hell had she been doing? A chill went down her body despite it being the middle of summer in Konoha.

Suddenly, she was faced with her own shortcomings and insignificance as a person and a ninja. Half of her life had revolved around a boy who had never liked her—found her repulsive, actually. While he had ignored her, she had watched him—obsessively so. She knew his daily routine by heart, knew his favorite food, knew his fighting style, and his every tic. She had thought they had at least been friends. She had spent so much of her precious time observing him, hoping that one day he would take notice of her. Yet, despite all of the rejection and humiliation directed at her, she had revered him as something akin to a god. She had ignored her own training. She had ignored the reality of the profession that she had chosen. And when she slowly started to see how helpless she truly was, she had taken her attention away from him and had missed serious signs. She should have noticed sooner. She should have alerted someone. But, she didn't, and she woke up on a cold bench, alone. He had left behind his team and had never once hesitated. That meant that he was worse than scum.

She wouldn't say that she had ever regarded Naruto as scum or trash, but she had regarded him as obnoxious in his quests for attention. Her parents had told her not to like him. The village had told her not to like him. Like the stupid girl that she was, never one to question a higher authority, she had listened. After all, he was a trouble maker and liked to wreak his own childish mayhem on the villagers. He made it easy to have negative biases against him.

Yet Naruto, who had always annoyed her, became her lifesaver after Sasuke left. He was always around checking up on her, and training with her. He helped her improve her trapping skills, and it was during this time that she had comprehended that her teammate had taken Sasuke's betrayal quite painfully, as well.

Naruto and Sasuke, she realized, had a bond that ran deeper than all the fights and rivalry, which meant Naruto would never give up on his lost teammate. In the last week before Naruto left her, they spent a lot of time together outside of training, and she saw what a wonderfully bright person he was. She had been blinded by others and her own ignorance. They hated him because they feared what they did not understand. The whole village treated him like scum, and her heart cracked at how they did not understand.

He was an idiot, but his heart was always in the right place. He had an unwavering will to always rise above adversity, and although, this could also be translated into stubbornness, so be it. He always knew how to cheer her up with his antics, where before they had been infuriating, slowly they became endearing. Even if sometimes his actions seemed poorly thought out, everything he did came from a place of love. Not romantic love, no. Naruto's love was pure, akin to a child's love, untainted, and unrestrained.

She understood why he had left. Truly, she did. He and Sasuke were like sunshine and moonlight, but they belonged to the same sky. In their loneliness, they were one and they knew it. Naruto could never hate Sasuke because he understood the 'why' that she, and everyone else, missed. Sasuke for all the venom he spewed could likewise never hate Naruto because he understood him, and maybe in another world where he had his family, strive to be like him (the unrelenting and just side of Naruto, that is). That is why he couldn't kill him, but it was also why Naruto could not give up on Sasuke. His bond with Sasuke invigorated him, and it was stronger than any other friendship he had. He believed if he couldn't save his friend then he did not deserve to be a Leaf shinobi, much less Hokage.

Sakura knew that Naruto would be doomed to chase after Sasuke until he experienced a paradigm shift in his philosophy. His only option now was to get stronger to bring back their rogue teammate.

Acid thoughts ran through her mind.

He left to become stronger, and he couldn't do that with her holding him back.

She tried to not let the ugliness of resentment taint her image of him, but she knew that self-loathing held nothing sacred. 

Instead, she let her resentment come crawling up to meet the memory of Kakashi-sensei. Her 'teacher'. She would laugh if she wasn't so angry. He let her be a liability. She acknowledged with burning shame that she did not see the folly of her ways, nor did she take initiative—only at the beginning, though. Slowly the reality of a shinobi's life started to trickle into her scope of understanding—she was sure she had only gotten a small dose of it, but it was enough to sober her up from her childish stupidity. She remembered Zabuza's sharp sword, bigger than her body, with a width close to it. She remembered the fear of not being certain to live to see another day. She remembered the starving, half-dead people of Wave, and the carnage at the bridge. She remembered the chunin exams . . . The deaths.

When he could no longer claim them to be too innocent, he left them still to their own devices, sitting ducks waiting for slaughter. Well, only in her case. Sasuke, the last Uchiha, and Naruto, the Kyubi container—as he had confided to her—couldn't die for they were far too important to the village and strong enough not to die a casual pointless death.

They had left, though.

Kakashi-sensei hadn't even wanted to stick around . . .

"What do I do now?" she whispered helplessly to herself.

She felt a gentle hand over her shoulder. She startled, and quickly turned to see who had sought her out.

It was a man, a fellow shinobi. Her eyes drifted to a blue bandana weighing down brown hair that covered one of his eyes. She recognized the man as one of the guards that she frequently saw posted around Konoha. In fact, he had been at the chunin exams scaring away contestants with another shinobi that sported spikey hair and a bandage that ran across his face.

"Kid, are you okay?" He asked her.

She stared blankly at him, still lost in self-deprecating thoughts, but also, she didn't understand his concern. He gave her a curious look before placing his hand on her forehead. His expression morphed to a contemplative one. 

"Seems, fine," he murmured to himself.

Finally, the situation caught up to her, and she shifted away from him.

"I'm fine," she said dazedly.

"You've been standing here for about three to four hours. You did better standing guard than the ones they send down from the genin corps."

She saw that he found that amusing, but she only felt numb. " I . . . It's just that they're all gone."

"Who are?"

"My team."

A pitying look came across his face, and she quickly corrected any misunderstandings, "They're not dead! They're . . . All of them just left me behind."

He nodded in understanding. "Team 7, right?"

"Yes. How . . ."

"Heard it through the grapevine. The last Uchiha and the Uzumaki kid tend to come up here and there, especially since one is now a traitor and the other is being trained by _the_ legendary Toad Sannin."

A bitter taste filled her mouth, but she swallowed it down, not quite understanding what she felt.

"I should probably head home," she told him.

"That's probably a good idea, kid."

As she began her journey back she heard him call out, "Hey, kid?"

She turned to look at him, "Yes?"

"My genin teammates all went their own ways, too. One of them became a baker, I think. We'll all talk now and then, but we lead completely separate lives. It's nothing like your situation. What I mean to say is that there are teams that grow apart and break up. I like working with others, though, and after my genin team fell apart, I found someone that I trust to watch my back, and that trusts me to do the same for them." 

They stood together for a moment longer before he nodded a farewell, and then leaped onto one of the closest rooftops. She watched him jump away before she turned to walk home.

Later, as she lay in her bed in the dark with only the glow of the moon slipping in through her curtains, she thought back to what the man had said. She contemplated, as she stared up in the direction of the ceiling. She saw figures that were not there, dancing around in her vision, and she told them a secret.

"I want that, too," she confided to the night. There was more in her heart that she wanted, but she was not ready to voice it out loud, not even to the non-judgemental shadows of the dark. 


	4. The Past: Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura begins to train her body and mind. The Hokage decides her fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Every morning, she would wake up and feel a little less empty, but a little more disconnected. She felt like there wasn't much that could move her like everything seemed to do before. She felt as if her spirit had jumped into a violent ocean, and the only way to survive was to be heaved down to the dark depths of the unknown. It was as if she were swimming down a long narrow tunnel alone, but she wouldn't stop until she reached the end. She didn't know where the motivation was born within her, but she began her mornings by jogging around the perimeter of the village—improving day by day. After, she would read. Reading was a way to escape, it had always been her refuge, but now she read for her survival. She read on anything she could get her hands on from the genin section of the shinobi library. Most books focused on politics, history, and economics. They were interesting, but most of them were biased in favor of the Leaf village, but if one looked underneath the underneath basic facts and statistics could be gathered. What she scrounged for was anything on any of the three main jutsu categories. Many of the things she found were things she had learned at the academy, but she figured she could skim through them to make sure she hadn't missed anything of use. There were a few tomes and scrolls that genin could access that were chunin level, but she decided to wait to read those until after she had gotten through the lower level stuff. After all, her chakra reserves were small and she knew that she had to build up a better foundation, or else she could damage her coils working on something above her level.

Currently, she was skimming through chakra theory, and contrary to popular belief, it was quite a page-turner. Yet, she didn't like it for the established dogmas of chakra, but rather for the theories that scholars had posed about the possibilities of chakra. Chakra could be amplified by meditating, but a scholar had recorded instances of heightened chakra levels when an individual was faced with deep emotional motivation or trauma. This posed a contradiction to shinobi doctrine as it was part of their training to resist being moved by emotions, but if they did, would they be stronger for it? She thought back to Naruto. He seemed to go against the rigid shinobi rule, as his emotions most always moved him into action. He was better for it. Then again, he also had a demon inside of him that provided him with nearly an endless supply of chakra.

Another scholar had recorded the different types of chakra that they had encountered in their travels. Priestesses' chakra intrigued her even though she knew that she would never wield it. Priestesses were trained from an earlier age than shinobi, and not anyone could be one. There were tests and rituals that followed ancient ways. But she found it intriguing that there were legends that indicated that before shinobi could wield chakra, priestesses would have a duty to protect humanity against demons and creatures. The only demons she could think of was the mythical tailed beasts, and where before they had been mythical to her, now she knew they were real. She wondered if there were more people like him? She thought back to Gara. Of course, there were. (How many nations harbored one? What else was real?)

There had been one scholar whose ideas intrigued her the most. They only went by the characters for snow—she would be sure to look for anything else Snow had written. They proposed that perhaps one could use their chakra to invade another's system, much like medical ninjutsu, but instead of healing, one could leave behind trace amounts of chakra that could become poisonous to the victim's system. In another theory, this chakra could become parasitic, and later be retained by the original user to amplify their own arsenal. It wasn't too far-fetched as she remembered Zabuza's sword healing itself from blood, but a sword was a sword and a living being was more complicated. However, at the chunin exams, Sasuke's preliminary opponent had done just that, but his method was different, probably a kekkei genkai.

Snow had also proposed that perhaps the dead could be brought back using chakra. They had listed different methods—all flawed and slightly more psychotic than the last, but it was the idea that truly fascinated her. It also made her wonder if anyone had ever tried to recreate these theories. Snow was very detailed, and she slightly feared the thought.

Chakra was one of the most important tools to a shinobi, and she didn't have much of it. Yet, what she did have was an above-average control on it. That was something she could work on, and she did. After reading, she would meditate. This would not only help her control, but it would also help expand her reserves. At first, she stayed under for three minutes, but slowly it became a dozen minutes, then fifteen, and when she reached her first half-hour, it had been the first time in a while that she had truly smiled. She had a long way to go, as many veteran shinobi could meditate for hours on end, but it was a start for her.

After meditation, she would practice her katas (academy taught, which didn't really suit her), but sometimes, she would instead practice on her weapons aim. (She had gotten lucky on the day of the invasion when she had killed an enemy-nin. Still, the neck was not the head, thus her aim needed vast improvement.)

Thus, the weeks passed like this for Haruno, Sakura. It was all very monotonous, but for that moment in her life, after being left behind by her first team, it was an ideal existence.

A month and two weeks had gone by and one day, as she read under the shade of a Hashirama tree, a messenger appeared, summoning her to the Hokage's office.

The current Hokage, Tsunade Senju, was nothing like her predecessor. The Sandaime had always had a non-threatening, calm air about him, but it was not to be mistaken for weakness for he was unwavering during his rule. The Godaime, on the other hand, had a predatory gleam to her stare. She imagined that if she were to ever encounter a tiger, the eyes of the Godaime would be staring back at her instead. At least, it was a tiger and not a snake. That thought gave her pause, and a slight chill made its way down her back at the memory of Orochimaru, who funny enough had been the Godaime's genin teammate.

After having greeted Sakura, the Hokage had gone back to looking at her paperwork. An awkward silence filled the room, and it made her clench her hands behind her back in discomfort. She wasn't sure what she was doing here, but she would wait for the Hokage to speak. (A genin had no right questioning the Hokage.)

"Haruno, Sakura. Registration number 012601. Age twelve, almost thirteen. High written scores during the academy days. Subpar physical abilities demonstrated during the chunin exams. Most likely a paper ninja." 

Sakura flinched at the Hokage's frankness.

"What is this about?"

The Hokage finally looked up at her, and for a second, she wished that she hadn't. The predatory eyes assessed her thoroughly—searching and tearing at her.

"You have a teammate who defected, and another who won't return for a while. Your team captain requested to be reinstated back into his old ranks. Team seven is no more, so where does that leave you?" (Kakashi-sensei had requested to stop being their sensei? No, just hers.)

Sakura swallowed her nerves but found that she could not answer the woman. Where _did_ that leave her? Would she been put on another team? Would she be sent to the genin corps?

"Answer me this, truthfully. Do you want to continue being a shinobi?"

"Yes, I do." There had been no hesitation.

"Why?"

Here she did hesitate. She could name a thousand reasons, but she wouldn't mean a single one. She didn't know why she woke up every day and trained harder. She didn't know why she wanted to continue down this path which would only lead to more hardships, except that the burning in her chest wouldn't let her do anything else. What she was certain of, however, was that she had been on this path long before she had encountered Sasuke. She just had to remember why. It was a path that she chose to walk herself.

"I want to continue to be a shinobi."

The Hokage frowned, and unrelenting stared at her. She felt a wave of chakra engulf the room. A barrier seal, for privacy, she realized.

"Fine. Let's begin," said the Godaime. "I am assigning you to a unit under Morino, Ibiki. You should be familiar with him. He proctored the first stage of the chunin exams. Unit 10-40-10 will be your new station. You will report in the vicinity of T&I to Ibiki at 0500 tomorrow."

"Hokage-sama?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"I know that Anbu is the only division that keeps its inner workings private to the public and lower ranks, but all the other divisions are privy to the public eye. I've never heard of unit 10 within T&I."

"Caught that, did you?" The Hokage sighed. "Yes, you're right. This unit was formed after the first war, it was an accelerated program to pump out as many useful shinobi as to fulfill missions. On paper, it was classified as another research and archives unit, but it's more of a junk drawer. Unit 10 deals with missions that will never be made public knowledge, much like ANBU, but ANBU missions are more complex, not only because of the danger of the opponents that the agents may face, the terrain they must navigate, or the experience that is needed, but because of the politics, they must circumvent. Politics placed by daimyos, councils, treaties, the people, and clans. ANBU must be mindful of all that, and they must remain hidden—the epitome of a shadow. In times of war, every active shinobi is stretched too thin, and the younger inexperienced ones must pick up the slack. Unit 10 helped fulfilled that role, and it did so without putting the clans at risk. Clan politics affect how this village is run and how missions are carried out. Unit 10 does not accept anyone from the clans." She paused, and suddenly Sakura saw a crack in the Godaime's armor. One that suddenly reminded her of the smell of sake that faintly permeated the room.

"It was dismantled during the third war. The people that fought that war wanted to step towards a better future. Unit 10 was seen as too barbaric in their training and an operation that perpetuated the disparities between clans and the people with no clan names. It was officially terminated by the fourth Hokage. Everything that unit 10 had been involved in was kept quiet, so there wasn't much to cover up. That is why you have never seen it mentioned in textbooks or records."

Sakura nodded in understanding, even though everything the Godaime had said had left her with even more questions. Yet, the one question she wanted to be answered was, "Then, why reinstate it?"

The Godaime steepled her fingers. She noticed a slight tremor in them.

"Orochimaru made quite a mess of things here. He banded two hidden villages together, albeit not the most powerful ones, to attack us, but it left damages to many sectors. We had many casualties, both civilian and shinobi. All in all, we've taken a significant hit. The peace treaties signed from the third war are shaky, at best, and this village has many enemies from the last war that are vying for a shot to finish what Orochimaru started. It's not war, not yet, but the illusion of peace is gone."

"Why me?"

The Godaime stared into her eyes, a vicious expression set in stone.

"Reports of the attack coincided. You broke many out of the mass genjutsu. You yourself were never caught up in it. To put it bluntly, you're a nobody with some potential."

Her heart burned with rage. 

"Understood. I'll report tomorrow."

"Dismissed."

She nodded and turned around, ready to escape the room and go back to the refuge of the book that she had been reading before she had been summoned. As she closed the door, she thought that she had heard a whisper that sounded so much like 'I'm sorry', but she chalked it up to her imagination and the sound of blood rushing through her ears.


	5. The Past: Rolling with the Punches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura meets Ibiki and must undergo a month of intensive training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

She had barely gotten any sleep and the dark circles under her eyes proved it. She had spent half of the night staring blankly at her bedroom ceiling replaying her conversation with the Hokage over and over again. Each time she grew a little more indignant and a little less embarrassed. By the time her alarm clock rang, she felt disconnected again.

Mechanically, she dressed in black bike shorts and a grey top, brushed her teeth, ran her fingers through her hair, and tied on her weapon's pouch.

She stopped outside of her parent's bedroom and pressed her head to the door. She closed her eyes and listened to soft snores coming from the inside. It had been a while since she had last had a proper conversation with them. She sighed and moved away.

She didn't have long, so she grabbed some fruit and rice to eat from the kitchen. It was a light breakfast, in case she would be doing anything strenuous, or her nerves got the better of her.

Before walking out of the house, her reflection caught her attention from a small round mirror that hung on a wall.

She wasn't sure why she stared at herself for so long. Maybe it was because she hadn't done so for the last month? Too busy training. Now that she did have a chance to properly look at herself, she noticed small changes. Her hair was longer. It rested just below her shoulders. Her eyes seemed different, too. Her face had become gaunter, despite the fact that she had been eating like she was supposed to. She grimaced at the differences. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The T&I building was a large facility that was made of many levels spanning upwards, as well as many subterranean levels. It was located in sector four, near the hospital. Walking in was similar to walking into a building located in the business sector of the village. Everything was well organized, dull, and kept professional. Yet for some reason, the building smelled of antiseptic, much like the hospital. 

She followed the wayfinding signage throughout the building. It took her only moments to find Ibiki's office situated on subterranean level two. When she walked in, he was rigidly reading over paperwork. In those seconds before he looked up, she was reminded of what an intimidating figure Ibiki was. His scarred face was always set into a stern expression. She remembered the temple her parents used to frequent when she was younger. The stone walls were lined with terrifying carvings detailing legends about deities and the battle of good against evil. Ibiki reminded her of some of those stone faces that would always terrify her as a child. She steeled herself before stating her purpose.

"Haruno, Sakura reporting for unit 10-40-10, sir."

He nodded before standing from his seat. "Follow me, Haruno," he said.

She followed him down a few levels and then down long winding corridors until they came to a stop in front of a nondescript door. When he opened the door, she found that it was an entryway to another corridor with numbered doors running down as far as the eye could see.

"Your bunk is number three. Inside there are some clothes set aside for you. Put them on and meet me back here. You have five minutes."

She nodded and rushed down to the door that was labeled three. When she walked in, she took note of how small it was. There was a rolled-up futon and folded sheets in a corner. Beside it, the clothes Ibiki had mentioned. She quickly shed her clothing and donned on the black jumpsuit and black ninja sandals. She rushed out to Ibiki, who was standing stoically where she had left him. He nodded to her and beckoned her to follow. It wasn't long before they came to a large grey gymnasium with black padded floors and bright light panels on the ceiling.

"You will report here every morning at four. An instructor will be here to train you. This will only last one month. After, you and the rest of the unit will fight off against one another to gauge everybody's strengths and assign field partners."

"Hai."

"Today, I will be your instructor. After that, someone else will guide you."

"Hai."

"Your written scores are high, but your physical prowess is not. Your training will be geared towards building that up."

"Hai."

"Tell me, Haruno. Do you know how to take a hit?" His eyes gleamed dangerously, and she found that she did not know how to answer—rather was too ashamed to do so. He hummed in amusement.

"No? Well, today, you'll learn, and maybe pick up dodging skills."

Not even a second later, the right side of her face felt on fire, and she was knocked to the ground.

"Get up, Haruno," Ibiki growled out. Disoriented from the sucker punch, she staggered up, unaware of his movement towards her. The wind was kicked out of her, and her abdomen was on fire. Her body skidded across the flooring, and she rattled in small breaths.

"Get up!" Ibiki shouted.

Finally, she pushed herself up, and the beating continued. By the end of the day, she sported large purple bruises on almost every inch of her skin, and one of her eyes was swollen shut—at least Ibiki had given her an ice pack to put over it.

She was given permission to go home and pack basic essentials for a month. No one was home, which she was thankful for. She wouldn't have to listen to her parent's judgment or have to lessen the severity of her struggle today.

She ended up packing her toothbrush, a few hair elastics, changes of underwear, weapons, bandages, a first aid kit, a digital pocket watch, and a few books and scrolls. Hopefully, she would have time to read them. Ibiki said that she would be getting rations to eat while staying in bunk three, so she didn't worry about grabbing any of her own. She left her parents a note, and quickly went back to her bunk at T&I.

When she returned to the corridor that held her lodgings, she noticed a tall girl with long dark hair in front of door six. When the girl looked towards her, she noticed how pretty the girl's features were. She had plump lips and dark almond eyes. Her figure was slender, like the acrobatic dancers her parents would often go see.

The girl nodded towards her, giving her bruises a long stare before entering her bunk, Sakura returned the gesture and did the same. She was exhausted but figured she could read more into her chakra theory tome.

Because her meditation sessions were going well, she had made another goal for herself. She planned to use her chakra to enhance her speed and eyesight, but first, she had to get quick enough on her own. Relying on chakra to enhance her physical abilities could be a double-edged sword in the field, as she could find herself suddenly drained of chakra. Then were would that put her? Dead. (Survival was her ultimate goal.)

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

She was startled out of her sleep when she heard her small pocket watch going off in her pack. She dressed in a clean black jumpsuit and headed towards the gymnasium.

True to his word, Ibki was nowhere in sight. Instead, a person with a blank white mask stood waiting for her. The mask was not indicative of ANBU, but rather more similar to ones used as stage props for plays. Regardless of the strangeness, she bowed to the person.

"I will assess you in taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu. Let's begin."

Overall she had her ass handed to her, again, and she also received a very frank assessment. But after all the critique, the drills started and so did the instruction. From sunup to sundown, she was trained until her instructor was satisfied with the progress of her form and speed. The katas that she learned were better suited to her than the ones that the academy had taught her. It was more fluid and helped her with opponents of bigger stature, which she would definitely need.

They seemed to focus on taijutsu the most because she had no basic training on any major ninjutsu, and according to her faceless instructor, you needed more than a month to learn. However, he went ahead and tested her chakra affinity, which turned out to be water and earth. He gave her scrolls on multiple D and C ranked jutsu for her affinities. She could try them in her spare time and ask him questions during the training, which she definitely did.

Even when her official training stopped for the day, she would practice her chakra control by sticking leaves to random parts of her body, keeping them still using only chakra. She found it ironic that she could keep a leaf on her forehead the longest. After all, as a child, she had been bullied relentlessly over its size. She snorted, half annoyed and half-amused. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Midway into the month that Ibiki had set out for her, her instructor changed his lesson plan. He took her out into the village and made her observe half of the population and city layout—as if she hadn't grown up in Konoha. Afterward, he had her try to trap him in genjutsu. Her goal was to keep him under for a minute. He would often break out in a second.

"The wall lacked texture," he would say, or, "The color was not right."

She adjusted and tried again.

"The old woman was moving too fast, and the villagers lacked emotion."

She adjusted and tried again.

"The birds in the sky lacked normal behavior patterns and detail."

She adjusted and tried again.

Slowly, she learned how to memorize everything she observed by filing it away neatly in her mindscape. Where before she couldn't really say she had had one—maybe it had been a void where her thoughts roamed aimlessly—now she compartmentalized her thoughts into categories, subcategories, and so forth. Her mindscape was a library, and every book was vital information and memories.

So, she weaved and weaved detail upon detail and layer upon layer, until a week later, when she had successfully managed to trap him for a minute, and then three minutes. The day after that achievement, Ibiki came back.

"Haruno."

"Hai."

"They tell me, you're a genjutsu type."

"Hai."

"I'll be training you today."

"Hai."

"Let's begin."

As she found out through getting beaten within an inch of her life, Ibiki wanted her to use genjutsu to distract him long enough to let up on his attacks. It was difficult, to say the least, and she found that weaving her illusions on Ibiki did not work. He was too fast and too strong-willed, and could not be pulled into a completely new scenery of her own fabrication. She would have to use a different approach, one she had read in a book. If she couldn't trap him in a full illusion or distract him with things not there, she would have to shift their current reality partially.

He was advancing towards her, again. She squared herself up and weaved a very simple illusion that distorted his depth perception. He raised his fist and swung towards her.

She felt the shift of air near her face, and the warmth of his body as his arm missed her by a tiny margin.

Her heartbeat loudly, and her spirit felt as if it could fly from elation. It had worked!

Ibiki noticed it, too.

"Good, Haruno. Again!"

She ended up dodging him a total of seven times, and although her face and body were bruised and swollen, she had never felt as great as she did that night reading her tomes and scrolls.

When she arrived in the morning, Ibiki was there again.

"Ready for round two, Haruno?"

"Hell, yes." He chuckled at her response.

"I've rarely met recruits that look forward to a beating."

She snorted at his statement. It was true, these sessions with Ibiki were brutal, but they helped her learn. However, today she would be putting into effect what she had been learning in her free time.

"Let's begin."

"Hai!"

He came at her just as she cycled chakra through her legs and eyes. She saw every twitch of his body and how it shifted as he moved. After being beaten to a bloody pulp by him, she had learned his attack patterns—the ones he unknowingly shifted to. She dodged.

He advanced, and again she dodged. She saw him smirk, and then she felt the burn of a hit on her body. She went sprawling to the ground.

He began to match her speed, and she was forced to incorporated her genjutsu distortion into the spar. Sometimes she would feel the burn of a hit, and sometimes she would fall, but she also dodged.

Deep within her, she began to feel a sensation that she hadn't felt after her team had left. It was serenity. What a light feeling that was. This sensation spurred her last-second decision to attempt to trap Ibiki into a fabrication of her own creation. She caught his eyes with hers as she shifted to dodge, only moving slightly to the left, leaving enough room to still catch a slight touch of his upper arm. A small pulse of chakra was pushed into his system. 

One moment, they were leaping through the gymnasium. The next, time stopped, and Ibiki stopped with it. His eyes glazed over, and he stood in place—the epitome of a statue.

Her eyes widened, and she stared in shock at the sight. She waited for him to break out and attack her, but he stayed in place.

She had made him think that half of the day had already gone by and that he had released her from training. She remembered the layout of the building and had him go back to his office to work on paperwork. Ibiki was not the type of person to scare easily, but she took a chance on him being a creature of routine, at least in his work life.

She approached him and craned her neck to observe his scarred face. How had those scars come to mar his skin, she wondered? Her imagination ran wild coming up with multitudes of possibilities and scenarios, but then it drifted to a memory of her and team seven trying to uncover their sensei's face. The memory sobered her up, and she placed her hand on Ibiki's arm, sending a small jolt of chakra to disrupt her illusion. When he became conscious, the look he gave her reminded her of a hawk's gaze, and she felt as if she were in front of the Hokage again.

"Good, Haruno."

Her face burned and she went flying.

"Don't let your guard down, though."

That night she went to bed with fewer new bruises and injuries.

Ibiki showed up a few more times, where she improved on her dodging skills until it was back being taught by her faceless instructor. She was slightly disappointed, but her instructor's guidance in her taijutsu forms and speed made up for it. By the end of the last week, they had even helped her mold her first water globe held together by her chakra. Essentially the globe was useless, but it was the beginning of learning water ninjutsu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch, that was a cheap shot from Ibiki.


	6. The Past: Unit Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura struggles to fully conform to her new situation. Unit ten has some interesting characters and a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Today was the day when she would be fighting the other people in her unit—who up until this point she had rarely seen. She would often catch blurred glimpses of some as they entered their bunks, and there had also been that one girl she had sort of greeted. Still, that didn't count for much—barely a hello had transpired between them.

Her stomach felt like it wanted to come out of her throat, and her heart fluttered harder than the wings of a hummingbird. She couldn't do this. She could barely breathe, how could she fight? She couldn't do this.

What scared her was not the fighting, but the placement. She couldn't be placed on another team. It didn't feel right. It was a mistake. Everything had been a big mistake. She couldn't do this, and was she having a panic attack?

She put her hand to her chest and folded onto the ground. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

A part of her felt frustrated at the stupid loyalty she still held for her old team. She hadn't realized it at the time, but Kakashi-sensei's lesson really stuck with her. Even though her original team was no longer, their broken pieces scattered to the wind, she would always hold enough loyalty towards them to make her falter.

She would have thought it funny that one of the few things that Kakashi-sensei had taught her, she had learned better than the other two—much like when they were learning to tree walk. If she wasn't having such a mental and spiritual dilemma over such a stupid thing, she would have laughed.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

Slowly, her episode began to wane, and a switch was flipped within her, tilting her world on its axis. When it was over she was left feeling a little less lost and a little more disconnected. (She really did miss her team, though.)

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

She stepped out of her bunk and waited beside her door. All of the others were already there. She counted nine other people waiting in the corridor with her. The tall girl from before was there. She also recognized another face in the group. It was Lee's female teammate. She was slightly thrown off. Shouldn't she be with Might Guy? Subconsciously, she already knew the answer, though.

_~It was a bleak day, like the day the third Hokage had been buried, but instead of the sky crying, it simply looked mournful. She clenched her hands at the remorse that still lingered in her chest and at the splitting headache that had decided to overtake her at precisely that moment. She had been having many of these, but she chalked it up to stress. After all, she had never known death, not like this. Not when it crept up on someone who still had more than enough energy to bestow the world, and not on someone that the world needed more of. Someone she still had a debt to. There was a niggling sensation at the edge of her mind that wound her up, more so than she already was. (If only she could take a pain pill. She wanted to peacefully pay her respects, damn it!)_

_She stood in a very small crowd made up of Lee's teammates, his sensei, and Naruto. Lee's teammates were distraught. The female member of his team cried openly, and the male member, Neji, looked lost and angry._

_Guy's grief was heartbreaking to see. He looked like a shell of the man that she had once encountered before. She could see the self-loathing in his eyes, and she could feel the heaviness of his loss. Oh, Lee. He would have hated this.~_

A faceless instructor came to collect them. He led them to an arena. She saw Ibiki and about twenty other spectators in the stands, but they were muted and blurred by a genjutsu. The genjutsu also simmered around them, unit 10. She wondered if it gave them, the spectators, anonymity, or if it was to conceal the identifies of unit 10. It was explained that during their month of training, they had all been evaluated individually. Each of them currently had a score, and they were already put in a rank, which greatly influenced how they would be partnered. The fights that would be taking place were only to adjust the scores and placements, based on accuracy and precision, strategy, and strength.

The two-man cells would be announced by the end of the day. Sakura felt her heart stutter in protest. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

There were ten of them. Each would be paired against another, and the winner would move on to another round. Only one winner would emerge and they would also get a prize that would be revealed at a later time. She asked herself what the point was, but chose to keep quiet, as did the others.

Her fight ended up being the last one from the first rounds, and she would be paired against a boy named Minoru. She glanced over at him. He had short brown wavy hair and alluring amber eyes. Although his eyes were very pretty, he had a standoffish air about him. He reminded her of Sasuke, with a similar haughty attitude. He caught her staring and raised an elegant eyebrow at her. She didn't look away, but when the first fight started both withdrew inspection of each other.

The first fight was between Lee's teammate, which she had discovered her name to be Tenten, and a girl named Tsubasa. Tsubasa had grey hair and grey eyes, and despite the color being darker, she was reminded of Kakashi-sensei.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

The match was beautiful to watch, both girls were highly skilled in the use of kenjutsu. It was a dance of metal, and sparks flew from all the clashing of their blades. Although Tsubasa fought with a flawless form, using her twin blades, Tenten had a more diverse arsenal to choose from and when she switched to using a scythe-like weapon Tsubasa found it hard to find an opening. She subsequently tired quickly and became slower, which Tenten used in advantage to disarm her. The fight ended with Tenten standing over Tsubasa, with the blade of the scythe drawing a trickle of blood from her neck.

The second fight was between Hiroshi and Botan. Hiroshi was, to put it mildly, quite a character. His first move, which had not been understood until the consequences happened, was to 'systematically' place explosion tags all around the battleground. When Botan took his first step, Hiroshi set off a few, one of which sent him flying through the air, but he laughed manically and used the momentum to his advantage. She looked to the other contestants to see if anyone else was baffled by him. She was pretty sure Tenten's jaw had dropped in shock. They _were_ in a subterranean arena for fuck's sake. Ibiki didn't look worried, though, so she decided the building could take it. Although, she still looked around in paranoia for any cracks in the foundation.

A harsh static noise filled the air, and for a second, she thought that Kakashi-sensei was around. From within the smoke that had been left by the bombs, a surge of electricity sparked to life and colored the smoke a translucent blue. Botan emerged from the within and advanced towards Hiroshi, two whips charged with electricity aiding him in his attack. Unlike Hiroshi, Botan seemed more like Ibiki when he fought, a stoic façade never giving away a hint of emotion. For the next few minutes, sounds of electricity, violent explosions, and manic laughter filled the arena. Finally, as Botan had trapped Hiroshi with ninja wire, having lost both whips in the battle, he suddenly stopped, having been caught in a genjutsu. Hiroshi broke free of the wire and held a kunai up to Botan's neck, indicating the end of the battle and his victory.

The third battle was between Zenjiro and Kita. Zenjiro reminded her very much of Haku, as his features were very androgynous. He had a slender nose, a heart-shaped pale face, long white hair, and coffee-colored eyes that soften his stark appearance. The way he carried himself was very graceful and reserved, but he was as fast a snake—she meant that in a good way. They both favored using senbon needles to attack, but Zenjiro relied more on taijutsu and speed, whereas Kita used a blade to fend off attacks. Kita gave off a bubbly exterior as she dodged and counterattacked. She was like a cat playing with a mouse, and when Zenjiro started to sway, everyone understood she used poisoned weapons. All seemed to indicate that she had won until her body fell to the ground and began to seize. A few medic-nin hurried over to stabilize her condition, but a slightly weakened Zenjiro gave them a vile. Antidote. He, too, used poison on his needles. She was very impressed and found this fight to have been her favorite.

The fourth fight, before hers, happened between Gin, the tall girl she had briefly interacted with before, and Harue. Gin was a fierce fighter. She was fast and aggressive in her style of fighting. She incorporated knuckle knives, which kept Harue on his toes. Yet, where Gin was very direct, Harue was always hiding and watching out for the perfect opportunity to strike when Gin's attacks became too repetitive. He wasn't as fast as Gin, but he utilized a metal bow to fend off her assaults. When he would manage to get away he would shoot arrows, proving his draw to be faster than his feet.

A short-range fighter and long-range fighter, who would win?

Harue often used clones to confuse Gin, but she would find him quickly. Although, Harue proved to be a good long-range fighter he also showed that he was able to keep up with Gin in hand-to-hand combat. Both gave a great display of brute strength, but ultimately Gin, who was faster, won.

Finally, it was her turn.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

She found herself standing across from Minoru, hazel eyes looking cruelly upon her. She cycled chakra through her body and felt everything around her slow down significantly. She saw his right leg shift slightly back. She saw him come at her, but where her body and logic were ready to fight, her heart was weak to let go of what held her back.

"Damn you, team seven," she whispered under her breath, as she let Minoru's fist connect with her jaw. It sent her sprawling back.

She got up, and, again, left herself open for an attack. Minoru complied, and she felt the burn of a hit to her midsection. It wasn't until she heard the hiss of metal being drawn that she was forced to defend herself with a kunai. Minoru was a kenjutsu user who wielded a tantō. He swung out at her, and she blocked with her kunai—not extremely affective but enough to not be skewered by him. Before any more fighting could take place, she formed the sign of reconciliation, indicating her forfeiting from the battle. Thus, ending it.

"Number three," Ibiki's voice boomed out. Everyone startled. She looked up into the stands dispassionately, as she was sure that she was 'number three'.

"Hai?"

"What is the meaning of this?" (She wanted to know as well, but her mind was a jumble of memories and her heart raged with conflicting emotions.)

She didn't see the point of competing against these people. They were all prospects for unit 10, therefore they would-be coworkers. They were unknown by many but had the potential to be useful. 'Nobodies', as the Hokage had said. In their field, that was basically the equivalent of cannon fodder. She didn't want to be cannon fodder, along with the rest of the people there. She wanted for time to rewind and for her to be waiting with Naruto and Sasuke for their chronically late sensei, but that was no longer possible. 

She sighed heavily. 

Just place her with a new partner and be done with it. She didn't think that she could actively fight to be placed on a team as if she wanted that. (She would not be scum.)

She really missed those terrible boys with weird quirks. She wished that she could start all over again, and go back. Maybe if she could have done things differently the outcome would have been different. If only she could go back.

She wanted to laugh and get angry as quickly as she used to. She wanted back that false sense of security that had allowed her to think nothing bad could ever happen to her village.

She just wanted the day to be over already. A headache was already starting to bloom, and that niggling sensation whispered at the back of her mind.

This had been a mistake, but there wasn't any going back because the reality was that she was the weakest of team seven. As a result, they had left her, and they had never looked back.

"I forfeit from _this_ battle, sir."

"I can see that. Why?" He was seething.

"Strategically wise?" She heard some people behind Ibiki snicker, and Ibiki let out kill intent that silenced them quickly.

He lifted an unimpressed eyebrow at her that promised dire consequences. She went back to take a seat in the stands and ignored the looks from the people around her. For the rest of the battles and on into the final one, she tuned out, trapped in the past when she would watch Sasuke and Naruto get into petty squabbles, and when Kakashi-sensei would read his orange book.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Gin ended up winning. She had the best stamina, and fought with rage, while others were tamer and tired easily. Although Gin did not openly gloat, her demeanor was that of pride and enthusiasm. She saw Hiroshi roll his dark eyes at Gin. It seemed like there was a one-sided rivalry already starting there.

They were all dismissed. Except for her.

"Haruno, stay. You're giving me one hundred kill drills."

Fuck. Kill drills were the worst. They were a series of pushups, tumbles, sprints, sit-ups, and jumps. One hundred was impossible, and yet she remembered one morning when she had seen Guy and Lee doing them. They had been on set two hundred. She grimaced, sorrow for her fellow comrade clouding her nostalgia.

"Hai."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Half an hour in, and she was panting and sweating uncontrollably. Her body shook from exhaustion. What number was she on? She had forgotten to count after forty. She tried to do another push-up and collapsed. She let out a snarl. She could do it, damn it! Lee had proven that it wasn't impossible, yet here she was about to pass out from exhaustion. She turned over on her back and stared at the bright lights overhead.

_~She had a basket of fruits with her. It was for the boys, they had just woken up. Their bodies needed energy, and it was such a perfect day for a healthy treat. The sun was casting a warm blanket over the partially destroyed city, but the wind blowing from the west was cool and chilly. It aided everyone that was helping to repair the city to not swelter too fast, and that, in turn, was lightening the mood, a little._

_She registered as a visitor to the nearly fully repaired hospital. It had taken precedent over all other repairs, as it was a vital part of the shinobi village._

_She went to the room where the boys had been. Except, they weren't there. She worried. What if there were stray enemies still in the village? What if one of the medics hadn't caught an injury that one of the boys had sustained?_

_Where were they?_

_She swore under her breath and went to go look around. While she was roaming one of the corridors she heard angry voices. They seemed to be coming from outside. She looked out of a nearby window. She looked down. Nothing. She looked up at another section of the hospital's rooftop that could be seen from where she stood. There they were._

_She frowned as she saw their expressions become darker, and their mouths move quicker. They were about to start fighting. Those two were such hotheads! Didn't they think about the damage they could cause?_

_She had to do something. She ran. Many nurses scolded her as she ran by, and she almost rammed into patients that roamed the halls, but finally, she made it to a stairwell that led to the roof._

_Her legs burned as she ascended. She did not slow down. She pushed open a door and was met with the sound of chirping birds. Sasuke, who had activated Kakashi-sensei's signature move, was advancing on Naruto, who had a swirling ball of chakra in his hand. He, too, started running towards Sasuke. The hospital! The people!_

" _Stop!" It fell on deaf ears. She ran to come between them and saw fear on both of their faces. Her heart dropped as she realized that they couldn't stop anymore. She closed her eyes and waited for the impact. She waited for her death._

_The air shifted around her, and she smelled ozone. She could feel the hairs on her arms stand. There were loud sounds of impact, but she felt no pain. She opened her eyes to find out what had happened and found Kakashi-sensei in front of her. She stared at his back in relief, but quickly, it was replaced by worry and slight fear as she felt the tense atmosphere around him. He was furious enough to conjure electric static around him—his chakra nature raging about him._

_She looked towards Naruto and Sasuke who had recovered from being thrown across the rooftop. Naruto looked remorseful and scared, still. Sasuke just looked angry._

" _You almost killed her," Kakashi-sensei growled and a sliver of kill intent left him. Her throat felt too narrow, and she could barely swallow her nerves down. She wanted to say something, anything to lessen the punishment towards the boys, but she couldn't find the words._

" _Those who abandon their friends are scum. Those who kill them are . . . monsters." Kakashi-sensei's voice hollowed at the end._

" _We're not friends, though," Sasuke sassed out, and she felt her heart break. The next thing they all registered happening was Sasuke knocked out cold by a punch to his temple, and Kakashi standing over him breathlessly trying to restrain his anger and kill intent. No one moved from their spots, too frozen by the emotions coursing through their bodies.~_

She felt a few tears escape her eyes at the memory. She furiously wiped them away before letting out a cry and going back to doing the remainder of the push-ups. When she went to tumble, she stumbled and crashed to the floor. The exhaustion was finally shutting her down. She crawled up and tried again.

"Stop."

"I'm not finished."

"You are. Now, stop," Ibiki commanded. She gave him an ugly stare, but her body complied with his command.

She sank to the floor and sat there trying to catching her breath.

"Now, tell me. What was that about?"

She shrugged and said, "A lot of things. Things that don't make sense."

Ibiki chuckled and replied, "I torture people for information. Half the things they say don't make sense, but it's my job to connect the pieces."

"My team, mostly."

"That team is no more."

She let out a humorless laugh. "That's what everyone keeps saying, but you see they'll always be a part of me. Stupid Kakashi-sensei taught us that those who don't follow the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash. They're scum." She shook her head, embarrassed at her confession. The edges of Ibiki's lips downturned. He didn't seem to have the same philosophy. 

"You haven't abandoned them," he stated, and he was right. They had left her first, but she wished that she could make her heart believe that.

"Forget it. I guess I just didn't see the point of fighting fellow comrades. Competition is a good incentive and all, but it can also be a double-edged sword. I don't want to compete for something so meaningless as 'who's the best cannon fodder'."

Ibiki snorted.

He held out his hand to help her stand. She took it because Ibiki was rarely so nice and because she knew she could barely move, let alone stand by herself.

"Don't hold back on us anymore, Haruno." He was back to his stern self.

"Hai."

"If you do. I'll make sure, you don't leave until you make it to one hundred kill drills."

"Hai."

He faltered in his pace, which caused her to glance up at him.

"Things are about to become much more difficult. Are you sure you want to continue?"

She swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Hai."


	7. The Past: A Load of Mud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is finally partnered up. She also makes progress in her training, just in time for survival training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Sakura dipped her fingers into a tin of jade-colored healing salve. The pleasant smell of mint wafted into her nose. She mentally thanked her heavily scarred superior, as he had been the one to give it to her. Actually, Ibiki had thrown the tin at her as he left to go do whatever it was that Ibiki did on a daily basis at T&I.

After accomplishing the kill drills that had been her punishment for underperforming against Minoru, she knew her body was spent. Not only was she tired from a lack of sleep and a grueling month of training, now she was close to crossing the limit of what her body could endure. She had bruises everywhere and at all stages of healing. Her muscles would twitch randomly, too. Hopefully, the salve would numb her to it. She massaged it over her tender skin. She even dabbed a bit on her bruised face, hoping to speed up the healing if only by a little.

She glanced at her small watch laying by her packed belongings in a corner. There were still three hours before she had to be standing by her door—three hours before she knew which new face from unit ten would be a constant in her life.

Although she didn't know any of the other recruits well, she didn't think that she would want to be paired up with Minoru, Tsubasa, or Zenjiro. They reminded her too much of her _former_ team.

She put an abrupt stop to that line of thought and looked back down to her watch. There was an opportunity to take a nap, and she was going to take advantage of that. She crawled to the corner of her bunk where she kept her unrolled futon and scrunched her body into a ball. Her limbs felt like jelly and her eyelids felt like led. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was pulled into a deep slumber.

Only that . . .

Something kept disturbing her. A niggling feeling crept at the edge of consciousness. Something she had felt more frequently after the invasion. It was like a tickle in the back of her mind, and a whisper that buzzed around much like a mosquito. It was the feeling of having forgotten something only for it to creep back into recognition.

Unexpectedly, she heard a sound. It was a steady echo that reverberated through the atmosphere. It was lighter than a solid tap but heavier than the wind running amuck. _She opened her eyes and found herself standing on the surface of a lotus pond. Around her were lotus flowers in all stages of blooming and many forms of color. Confusion coursed through her. This was not where she had last been. Disoriented, she looked around. The sound that had captured her attention from before was the fluid sound of water dripping from the many lotus petals onto the surface of the pond._

_It was quite pretty._

_In fact, if she wasn't distressed as to how she had gotten there, she would have been happy to simply admire the scenery._

_In the distance, she saw a yellow kite with blue designs flying in the pitch-black sky. Her legs began to carry her forward. She took note that the surface of the pond felt fresh and smooth under her bare feet as if she were walking on marble floors._

_She walked and walked._

_However, she felt as if little progress was being made as she was still quite a distance from the kite. In her negligence, she failed to notice when the pond's surface had changed as she had kept her focus on the kite, but when she looked down, she was no longer standing on water. Instead, her feet walked on scorching thick blood that clung to the soles of her feet. The smell of copper took away any doubt of what the substance was, and she felt her stomach grow queasy._

_The onslaught of screaming was sudden and shrill. It was the clamor of many people. It was the sound of terror. She choked on her panic, and in the fright of it all, she raised her hands to cover her ears._

_Kami, please make it stop!_

_Trails of sweat slid down her neck._

She startled awake. The pounding in her chest startled her as much as it grounded her. She inhaled deeply before letting it out. Her sweat clung to her like a veil, cooling in the freshness of the room. The thumping in her chest quieted down gradually, but the screams still rang clear in her ears, and the pond of blood seared into her mind.

"It was only a dream," she whispered to the room, but what a strange one it had been. Still, the niggling at the edge of her mind persisted.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

By the end of the day, everyone was lined up by their doors, packs in hand, waiting for a faceless instructor. Instead, Ibiki appeared.

"Listen up; teams will now be announced. Grey team: Gin and Kita. White team: Tsubasa and Harue. Green team: Botan and Zenjiro. Red team: Tenten and Sakura. Blue team: Hiroshi and Minoru. You have a week of rest before coming back to the training rooms to familiarize yourself with your new partners." With that said, he left them. Everyone looked around before going to their respective partners.

Twin buns came into her field of vision, and suddenly she felt apprehensive—and a little excited. While all of unit ten were formidable in their own way, she felt a sliver of ease at being paired with Tenten. Although not old enough, or experienced enough, to officially be titled a weapon's mistress, she recognized that Tenten was well on the path to becoming one. The older girl had also been a genin for a year longer and therefore had more field experience. Sakura felt as if there was much to be learned from the brunette.

However, that easiness clashed greatly with the anxiety of being linked to anybody from Team Guy. She couldn't get rid of the image of Lee's broken smile—one that she had seen after his hospitalization when he was trying to hide his own fear and turmoil.

She felt uncomfortable.

Lee's teammate. Now her teammate. An occurrence only made possible by his death and the absence of her team. Suddenly, she felt the life debt that she owed Lee heavy on her shoulders and the resentment that she held for her old team shrouding her like a veil. 

Tenten bowed towards her, a pleasantly neutral expression in place.

"Hello, I'm Tenten."

"Haruno, Sakura."

She felt the other girl observe her, much like the Godaime had.

It felt as if everyone were looking for her weak spots these days. A savage part of her was satisfied by the fact that in this instance, she wasn't the only one with fresh scars on their metaphorical armor. She mirrored Tenten's stance. There were changes in the older girl.

Where before she had had eyes that shone fiercely. Her gaze was more subdued, now. Death sobered up even the most unrelenting people, she figured. She knew that the older girl had not focused much on her appearance in the past, but regardless had always shown to be very presentable. Her bangs had always been kept at a manageable length and there was never a hair, too out of place—she resembled her other teammate, Neji, in that regard. But, it was a different story now.

Her hair was longer and choppy, and her buns looked like she had rushed to put them up. One of them even looked lopsided. Her face was pallid with a sickly tint, a deep contrast to her natural skin tone that was more prone to looking sun-kissed. Her body, once defined by subtle muscles, looked wispy. Grief had taken ahold of her and had changed her into a sickly-looking creature.

She wondered what Tenten saw in her own scrutiny. Did she notice the darkness under her eyes, or how her face seemed permanently stuck in a dull or lost expression? (Something her mother and her posse seemed to always pick at because 'a lady should always have an air of confidence around her'.) Did she see how her green eyes had changed a shade darker, or how her pastel hair was no longer shiny or silky? Did she think the ghastly bruises on her face matched the feeble impression that everyone had of her? Was _she_ the one who actually looked like the _sickly_ creature?

She knew that it was all so superficial to be curious about, but that was the girl that she had been raised to be. It was hard to let old habits die—especially with her upbringing.

Long before her parents had settled down in the ninja village of Konohagakure, their respective scholarly lineages had reached the high courts of nobility in a land far, far away. Her father had been born a second son—a spare—and her mother a third daughter to the main wife of her household—better than being born to one of the concubines. Their lives had been filled with luxury and comfort. Of course, this also meant that their lives were not their own, but of their family and the titles that they held. Regardless, being born into privilege gave them a direct pathway to power, but underneath all the beauty, political turmoil simmered. Multiple parties plotted and schemed. By the time both houses had joined through marriage, peace balanced on a thin thread of serendipity and propriety. Sakura was born during a time of tension. Due to this, she had been taught earlier and more rigorously how to act like a proper dignified lady, as to later find a solid match into one of the more powerful families, in the hopes that it would save her from the turmoil around them.

It was not to be, though. Political tensions rose enough to cause blood to spill, and once the first drop hit the ground, a torrent followed. By the time Sakura had turned five, her parents had dragged her out of bed in the middle of the night. They fled their homeland. From then on, they were no longer people of high status, but instead a family that was struggling to find their place in the world. They wandered around for months, and amidst it all, they found a way to survive. Due to her parents' quick wit and sharp tongues, and the fact that they had smuggled out a few items of precious jewelry, they were able to start a merchant business, which led them to settle down in the Land of Fire, so far from where they had originated.

A dying part of her still worried about keeping up appearances, though. At one point in her life, she had been indoctrinated to act and think a certain way because that would've been the only way for her to survive. Even after losing her original home, which she barely remembered, or cared for, she was still pressured into acting in accordance with the status quo, but this had always grated on her nerves—pretending to hate what she loved and love what she hated.

Before Naruto had left, she woke up one day and gave up on trying to please her parents and the status quo. That day she had eaten all of the fatty foods that she could find, much to the chagrin of her mother. She had dressed in loose dark clothing. She had walked around the village without any shoes, and she had waded in a small stream to escape the day's heat.

That had been when Naruto had found her. He hadn't commented on her lack of decorum and instead had joined her. They even reverted back to being children as they started to splash at each other and wage a water fight. It had been a lighthearted evening that had ended with them going to Ichiraku's for dinner.

Their relationship had changed after that day.

They were less shy around each other and fewer words were exchanged, but they felt closer. She realized now, that the only time she had truly tried to be herself was when Naruto and she were left to repair the brokenness of team seven. An impossible task, and yet during those moments, she had realized that a lie had not once left her lips. She had bared the truth of her pain, the regret of her foolishness, and the happiness of the comradery that she found with Naruto.

But . . .

When she was left alone, she raged at herself for becoming too comfortable in such a vulnerable position—one her parents had taught her would only lead to her downfall. 'The truth is gold' they had said. That was true in the cutthroat world of nobility, as well as in the shinobi world. A 'nobody' like herself couldn't go around showing people the depths of her soul. After all, if she were only going to be discarded, she might as well not give others anymore of an upper hand— _don't kick somebody who is already down_. (She tried to not direct those bitter feelings towards Naruto. It wasn't his fault. Whose fault _was_ it? Kakashi's? Sasuke's? Hers?)

She was brought back to her surroundings when Tenten moved to take her right hand in hers—a sign that she wouldn't reject her on first impressions. They stayed like that for a moment, both clinging onto the warmth of the other, accept each other's superficial flaws. Sakura hoped they could both be able to successfully move forward. What other choice did they have, after all?

From now on, they could only rely on each other while in the field. Their original teams had been broken, and nothing could save them from the harsh world that they had chosen to live in.

"Looks like we're a team, then."

Sakura nodded her head, dazed at their predicament.

"Yes, let's do our best," she replied to the brunette.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Everyone parted ways to go to their respective homes. After walking from sector four to sector nine, which was about a forty-minute walk, she drew nearer to her home. She took in the familiar neighborhood and was thankful that the invasion had not touched it—at least not superficially. As she approached her house, she found that the lights were still on. She sighed before straightening up her appearance. There wasn't much that she could do for her hair. She tied it up, hoping to convey a well put together exterior. She suddenly remembered the bruises marring her face and body. An exasperated groan left her before heading inside.

She found her parents in the parlor area. Her father was reading a newspaper, while her mother worked on crafting beaded necklaces—a hobby she had picked up long ago. She bowed deeply to her parents.

"Otou-sama. Okaa-sama. Tadaima."

Her father let out a baritone hum but did not look up from his paper. Her mother was still stringing together precious stones but spoke towards her.

"Child, you missed Mrs. Narada's soirée. She so dearly wanted to see you! I had to tell her you were away on ninja business. Meanwhile, she told me that her plain-faced daughter is getting married to Ken Kawakami. Kawakami! They're wealthy, and have connections to the Fire Daimyo." Her mother huffed before continuing, "The cow! She was rubbing it in my face."

Finally, her mother looked up at her and let out a small shriek, which caused her father to look away from his paper. Both pairs of eyes boring into her.

"Sakura! What has been done to your face?"

She swallowed nervously. "It's nothing, okaa-sama. It'll heal soon. It's just that I have been training very hard."

"Well, you can't come to Aiko Narada's engagement party like that!"

"Hai, okaa-sama. Please give them my deepest apologies. Tell them, I bestow upon them my warmest wishes. Should I get them a gift? Pearls? A nice flower arrangement?"

Her mother waved away the idea, likely already having bought a gift for them in her stead. A frown settled on her mother's face, amplifying the small wrinkles that she was beginning to form from her age.

"Sakura, when will you stop with this ninja business?"

Her heart burned and a flush rose to her cheeks, making her face an ugly spectacle of colors.

"Just a little bit more, okaa-san. They won't let me quit after the recent attack on the village."

A lie to appease her mother.

Her mother let out a mournful sound. "Poor, Ms. Ito. I just can't stop thinking about her death. I send up a prayer every time I walk by her house. How tragic. Don't you think so Kizashi?"

Her father hummed in acknowledgment, having long gone back to his paper.

"Okaa-sama. Otou-sama. I will retire for the night." Her mother hummed in acknowledgment before waving her off.

Her spirit was heavy as she walked towards her room, and heavier still, as her back touched her bed. She vaguely wondered if sleep would bring her gory images and haunting wails? Her worries were wasted, though. She didn't dream that night. Instead, she stayed awake for a while staring at the shadows that danced across her vision in the darkness of her room.

She felt restless.

She wondered how Naruto was doing? Was he mastering the super cool jutsu he had been excited to learn? Was he eating properly? Did he miss her? Did Sasuke regret his actions? Was he adjusting to his new life? Was he being treated well? Where was Kakashi? Where did team seven find themselves at that moment in time?

She sighed heavily. She needed to worry about herself. She had her own path to follow. Her thoughts drifted to Tenten.

She remembered how inspiring and slightly menacing she had thought her to be when the older girl had fought in the preliminary rounds against the sand-nin. Even though Tenten had lost, she had been in such awe at the various weapons the brunette could handle. She had never met such a young weapon's expert. If she were being honest, she felt intimidated by the slightly older girl. In fact, all of the people in unit ten intimidated her. They were all older and were uniquely strong. Meanwhile, her only merit was being a genjutsu type with above average chakra control.

She rolled over and let out another sigh. She would just have to wait and see how things would progress from here on out. Ibiki's warning still rang clear in her ears.

"I want power, too," she whispered to the night. Finally, she had dared to confide this. She promised herself that she would gain strength, and she wouldn't need a Snake Sanin to help.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Her eyes held manic excitement, and a savage grin rested on her face. She did it! A replica of herself stared back at her. She had _made_ a water clone of herself, and it had been tedious work. (More like trial and error times a hundred.)

After she had gotten to the point of effortlessly making a water globe, she practiced expanding it with her chakra. It had come undone on her many times and she was left soaked to the bone by the end of those days, but after getting the hang of it, she decided that she was ready to move on into the hand signs. It took her two entire days to get something that resembled a humanoid and less a massive blob. After, she had worked on the details. It was midday into the last day that Ibiki had given them off when finally, she was successful.

It had taken her _one week._ She knew that wasn't standard, but much of her success she owed Snow. There had been a scroll, which she had voraciously read as soon as she spotted it, and in it, equations and explanations that stated that every jutsu had a 'sweet spot'. In other words, every jutsu had a perfect frequency of chakra that allowed the user to easily perform it.

She attributed a number to her overall chakra reserves, estimated values for her yin and yang energy (Because she had an affinity for water and earth, her yin energy produced twice as fast as her yang energy. Thus, depending on the jutsu she would have to focus on cycling her yang faster, so as to overcome the yin energy.) Afterward it was like a puzzle piece of numbers. And, what a headache that had been. She adjusted, though.

Now that she had found the right amount of chakra frequency, she was confident that she could recreate it.

She dispelled her water clone and tried again. The same result. Yes!

She quelled her excitement as she began to wonder how many she could make with her chakra reserves, and how long would she be able to make them last.

With that new training goal in mind, she began to mold her chakra.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It was time to head back to T&I, and like the first time she had walked into the building, the smell of antiseptic was present. It permeated the entire building, strong and numbing to her nose. She could even smell it in the training rooms, despite the blood, sweat, and tears she was sure many had shed there. It was slightly irritating.

Even more irritating was Tenten.

She had donned on a no-nonsense attitude, which didn't bother Sakura, but she had also assumed the position of team leader, which also didn't bother her much. Logically, Tenten was slightly older and had more experience. It was only natural she should take up the position. Sakura was not at all used to being seen as a leader, but there was something irritating about the assumption that she would instantly follow the strongest, no questions asked.

She was quick to hide her displeasure, though, so as to not cause problems with Tenten. Conflict within her new teammate was the last thing that she wanted. Thus, she reasoned with herself that they were only training, and despite her feelings, Tenten was efficient in her self-appointed role. (There was a savage part of her that was sure that it would become a problem in the future if she didn't quell it now, but she rarely listened to her more vicious instincts.)

They worked their way down a list of exercises in order to parse their skill level. Although they were well rounded due to their month of rigorous training with the faceless instructors, they cemented the fact that their talents lay in different areas.

Sakura excelled at casting and dispelling genjutsu. She decided to not disclose her ability to enhance her body with the aid of her chakra. She didn't think it was worth any attention, as many shinobi picked it up along the lifespan of their careers. Tenten probably knew how to do it, in fact.

She found that along with being excellent at handling weapons. Tenten was proficient at fuinjutsu and had a wind affinity—just like Naruto. It was rare for Leaf shinobi to have an affinity for wind element. It was also intriguing that the brunette had taken to using two black fans. They reminded her of mini-versions that the sand-nin had used against Tenten in the preliminaries.

They both refrained from much mindless chatter. Every once in a while, they commented on a good spot to buy certain types of gear and weapons. They vehemently stayed away from anything related to their old teams.

It was during their third day together that they discovered that not only had they been taught to perfect the basic academy katas, but they had been led into different taijutsu styles that better suited their natural instincts. As they did research on the scrolls that held their katas, they found that Tenten fought using, Fuyu no kaze (winter's wind), a style that had emerged during the warring state's period. Although it was an older well-established style, it was no longer commonly used among Leaf shinobi.

Sakura mused that modern times, although marked with longer periods of peace, called for more brutal tactics and fighting styles. Fuyu no kaze was a mostly defensive style that was characterized by the use of circular motions, tall stances, and acrobatic high kicks. She had once read that it was one of the most beautiful styles of taijutsu, and she could see why. It was like a graceful dance.

Nagareru kawa (flowing river), her style of taijutsu, emerged during the first shinobi war. It centered on redirecting the movements of an opponent and striking at pressure points to weaken the said opponent. It wasn't as graceful as Fuyu no kaze but it did center on her ability to be precise. One miscalculation and an opponent could easily overpower her with how close in proximity she was required to work in.

Training with Tenten was strange.

It felt like the first time she learned how to throw a kunai. Being a kid from a civilian background meant that the academy was the first place she had ever gotten a hold of a kunai. When she first threw one, it didn't even make it close to the target. It was only about one hundred tries later that she managed to hit a target. (One of the outer rings to her delight and frustration.) Training with Tenten felt like that—unfamiliar, frustratingly, and new. It was hard work that only improved with practice.

By the end of their two weeks that Ibiki had allotted each team, they had basic formations and maneuvers that incorporated their certain skill sets. (Okay, so they only had three formations, but they made sure that they could do them well.) Hopefully, they could get through the survival test that Ibiki had planned for them.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

There was mud everywhere: on her clothes, under her clothes, in her hair, on her face, under her nails, between her toes. She was sure she had even tasted it on her tongue at one point. Her clothes were damp and her body cold to the touch. Food was a distant memory, and water a brief luxury. It was a miserable existence. It was _survival_ training.

They had been blindfolded and subsequently taken to a random part of the forbidden forest with Ibiki's parting words being, 'survive two weeks.' She felt her ire rise at the memory. It wouldn't have been that bad _if_ he had chosen a different month. Instead, it was the beginning of a brief rainy season Konoha experienced annually before a cold front would begin to settle in, giving way to autumn. They hadn't even been allowed to bring any weapons or tools. She would have screamed if she wasn't so miserable.

Though, the cherry on top of such a disdainful situation came in the form of a purple-haired menace. Not even seconds after being left alone _she_ appeared. Sakura recognized her as a proctor from the chunin exams. Her name still slipped her mind, though. (It was some sugary name, wasn't it?)

The menace had abruptly appeared on a tree branch above them and informed them that they were going to be attacked. Then she proceeded said attack. (At least she had given them a three-second warning.) She had used flash bombs and chili bombs to disorient them. Despite the rain, they still packed quite a punch. Sakura was embarrassed to admit that that had been enough to send her sprawling to the muddy ground.

The smoke had had her close to choking, and she remembered hearing coughing and gagging sounds coming from somewhere to her right. Tenten hadn't faired any better.

They both ran to get clear of the attack, but then blunt shuriken and kunai had begun to rain down on them with cruel precision. Despite the weapons being blunt, some managed to break skin. The ones that didn't, left large spots that were sure to bruise. They had hunkered down behind a large tree trunk, terrified at what the purple terror would do next. Their worries had been for naught, though.

She had chosen to depart with a causal wave and a too cheerful, 'I'll be back later, ladies!'

Relief had coursed through them. After catching their breaths, both realized that they would have to endure another round of abuse, many more in fact.

Tenten had been the first to sober up after the attack, she had said that they were in relatively unknown territory and it was almost too dark to go parading about. They had searched the area for any of the weapons that they had been attacked with, but to their surprise, the menace had somehow taken them with her. Pity.

Regardless, they still needed to build a shelter.

Sakura had followed as she found that she was completely out of her element. Of course, she remembered what the academy had drilled into them, but implementing all those lessons felt foreign to her. They had ended up finding a spot with thick foliage and shrubs. Ferns were abundant and a few large trees rested on the ground from disease, weather, or whatever had felled them. Tenten had ordered her to collect twice the amount of kindling regularly used to start a fire because rain or no rain, they were going to get one started. Diligently, she had quickly set about looking for as many small twigs as possible and a few large pieces of wood. As she had done this, Tenten had built a shelter from branches and ferns. It wasn't extravagant or pretty to look at, but it would keep them somewhat dry.

Sakura had used the metal from her shinobi headband to scrape shavings from thicker pieces of wood—assiduous in making sure it would not get wet from the rain. Tenten had hummed in approval. With a dry flintstone that the brunette had found and Sakura's headband, they started a spark, which they tediously built into a fire.

"I'll take first watch," Tenten had said at some point. Sakura had hummed in agreement, and that had been the last thing that they had said to each other that day. Before nodding off—which she found strange that it came so easily to her there and not in the comfort of her own home—she took a couple of ferns and wiped off as much mud as she could.

Hours later when she had been nudged awake, a vivid yellow kite with blue designs echoed in her mind from her dreams. Her heart had hammered away in her tight chest, but if Tenten had noticed her distress, she chose to not comment on it. Instead, she'd added what little kindling they had left before rolling over on her side with her back towards Sakura.

The purple-haired terror didn't come back during her watch, which Sakura was thankful for. She didn't think she had the energy to run. Her stomach grumbled and her throat felt parched. Although she had tried her best to wipe off any mud, it clung to her like a second skin, just like her damp bodysuit. So, this was actual survival training, huh? (Kakashi really hadn't prepared her for anything.)

By the time Tenten woke up, the fire had gone out, but the rain had stopped. For how long, though? Regardless Tenten gave the order to head out. In the light of the cloudy day, the forest was thick and vast like they remembered it being from their exams. Neither commented on this, though. They still didn't waste their words on small talk to fill the silence that lingered between them. They talked only to relay information, or simply signaled phrases to each other.

Tenten was adamant that water was their priority now. With all that it had rained the day before, it was ironic that they had yet to quell their parched throats. 

Without her scrolls or weapons, Tenten felt bare and vulnerable. She found it harder to maintain a calm and pleasant demeanor, often snapping at Sakura to hurry up or stay focused.

"I am! I'm looking for something useful," she had retorted.

"What we need to do is find a water source," Tenten had grumbled sourly.

"Agreed. _But_ , we need food _too_. There are bound to be edible plants in the forest."

"Then, where are they?"

"I'm _looking_." Irritation thick in her voice. Not even an entire week in, and they already had cracks in the foundation of their team. Sakura forced herself to inhale deeply through her nose. One. Two. Three. Exhale.

"Do you know how to tree climb with chakra?"

Tenten gave her an unimpressed look before answering, "Of course. Don't you?"

She chose to ignore the passive aggression.

"The tree to your four o'clock looks taller than the rest. Comb through the place from up there. Look for a break in the foliage. It might be a clearing with a stream. Meanwhile, I'll stay close and continue looking for something edible."

From the slump of her shoulders, it seemed as if Tenten's anger deflated. The logic had made sense to her as well. In fact, she felt silly for not thinking more clearly—really the loss of her weapons left her feeling too vulnerable. The brunette nodded hesitantly before leaping up onto the long trunk of the tree.

Sakura watched her until she was more than halfway up, making sure that she would not fall, such as Naruto had done once. (Truly, those boys had made her more mindful of safety measures than was normal for a shinobi.)

As she was combing through the terrain she found a group of shrubs with small, fluffy looking masses. She checked the leaves surrounding them. Their color was light, and they were oval in shape. Bingo.

By the time Tenten came down, Sakura had gathered as much of the little fluffy bulbs as she could carry.

"There's a break to the southwest, about one kilometer from here."

"Good. We can start heading there. Look, I found something to eat."

Tenten gave her a startled stare.

"Sakura, those are poisonous!"

"No, they aren't. You're thinking of Concubine's Poison. These are Peasant Berries. I've read they taste like candy floss! They should give us an energy boost, while we look for something more sustainable to eat."

Tenten's expression settled, but she still seemed unconvinced.

"I'll eat one to prove it to you." A scared expression crossed the brunette's face, and before she could protest, Sakura had popped two Peasant Berries into her mouth. A soft sigh escaped her as she savored the sweetness from the bulbs. Definitely, not poison.

Concubine's Poison was instantaneous in its effect over the body. Its victim would first show instant signs of muscle spasms, and their skin would quickly become jaundice. After half an hour, vomiting and seizures would begin, followed by death. It was a poison that had been discovered during the Waring State's period and mass-produced/cultivated during the First Shinobi War. By the Second Shinobi War, almost every nation had an instant antidote against it, and it faded as one of the most lethal tools that shinobi utilized, but that was a different story within the civilian world. It became a popular poison for the noble courts to use. Hence its name.

"See? I feel fine. No muscle spasms," Sakura said after a few minutes had passed, but she was caught off guard by Tenten's expression. The brunette looked furious. (Seriously, there was no pleasing her.)

"Don't risk your life like that, again."

Sakura couldn't wrap her mind around that statement. As shinobi not risking one's life was a paradox.

"I didn't."

Tenten huffed angrily as she grabbed a few of the sweet treats from her hands.

"Whatever, let's go."

As soon as they entered the clearing, they found a steady stream that had their hearts jumping for joy. Only steps away from getting the much-needed water, when they were thrown back several meters away. She landed harshly on her side and her elbow oozed blood. Her left ear was left ringing from the explosion, but she could faintly make out a manic cackle in the distance.

"I'm back ladies! Ready for round two?"

For several moments, all they could do was dodge the, now slight sharpened, weapons. A quick frustrated glance at each other and they both agreed that enough was enough. Tenten began plucking kunai from midflight and shot them back at the menace. She, on the other hand, opted for grabbing two kunai from the ground before deflecting most of the weapons headed for both of them. The attack lasted for a while, but with Sakura on defense and Tenten on offense, they mitigated much of the potential danger.

Even when the weapons stopped coming towards them, they didn't let their guards down. Their bodies tense for whatever the menace came up with.

"See you later, girls!"

They waited in case she was tricking them. When they saw a group of faceless instructors emerging from the tree line, they shifted their stances, ready to ward them off.

One of them put their hands up.

"Relax, we're cleaning up after Anko."

"That's Anko-sama, to you!" The menace's disembodied voice carried out from deep within the woods.

"Yes, Anko-sama!" (They both held on tightly to the kunai in their hands. There wasn't a chance that they were letting their only weapons go.)

When they were finally left alone, they ran to the edge of the stream and greedily drank to their heart's desire. When logic finally caught up to her, Sakura managed to spear a nice juicy fish. Both girls salivated at the smell of it roasting over their makeshift fire pit.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

After the attack by the stream, Sakura and Tenten thought of a strategy to keep Anko at bay, or at least to keep from getting more damage on their battered bodies. Sakura employed the use of her water clone jutsu by cloning both of them. Due to all of the rain, her jutsu never ran out of supply. It only depended on her chakra reserves, which weren't strained from using it after becoming so familiar with the jutsu. She also cast a continuous disillusionment genjutsu around their actual selves. Any surprise attacks would go through the clones first, and that would alert them to prepare a counter-attack or find a better hiding spot. Tenten had used a kunai that they had held on to, to carve wooden shields and sharp projectiles. Although the wood wouldn't fare well against metal, it would slow down Anko's attacks. Sakura could tell that the brunette felt more at ease now that she had her hands on some form of weaponry.

They continued to stay close to the stream, but they moved around more often so as to not be easy targets. Sakura found many leafy greens that could supplement their diet along with the fish that they would catch. Tenten seemed to trust her knowledge of what was edible and what wasn't halfway through their first week. It made her feel proud of her competence. She wasn't as useless as she had once been. 

By the end of the first week, Anko had been evaded twice, but when they couldn't hide, they held up against her alright. They still departed each attack with minor injuries, but considering she no longer used blunt weapons, they considered it a win.

It wasn't until halfway through the second week that they had to confront another problem. After a skirmish with Anko, Tenten had injured her right leg enough that she could not walk on it for long. It left them pretty vulnerable as now they had limited mobility—meaning that Anko would crush them the next chance that she got. It also meant that Sakura now had to do most of Tenten's labor, which tired her out enough that she would sometimes feel her concentration on her genjutsu slip every once in a while.

It was during Sakura's night watch that she sensed that they were being watched. She taught that maybe she was being paranoid, but that feeling continued to make the hairs on her arms stand. When she was completely sure, she cursed as she quickly nudged Tenten awake. She signed that they were being watched, to which Tenten quickly armed herself with her weapons. Anko would probably appear in the next few minutes—strangely this would be the first time that they would be attacked at night.

Both girls cast substitutions of themselves and under the guise of Sakura's disillusionment genjutsu, they quietly slipped away further from their campsite. When they were meters away they crouched behind large shrubs and hoped for the best.

A bulky silhouette appeared. It wasn't Anko. It was Ibiki. They were screwed. There was no way they could handle an attack from him.

"Red Team, you have two days to make it to the tower at the center of the forest."

As swiftly as he came, he left.

"It took us five days to get there, last time. How are we going to do it in two? My leg isn't any better," there was a slight shrill panic to Tenten's voice. What gave Sakura pause wasn't the fact that her confident demeanor was absent, but that she had referenced the past—when her team was whole and alive.

She swallowed thickly and crouched down to the brunette's level.

"We _are_ going to make it. Last time, we had to find scrolls and fight other teams. This time, it's just us. Last time, we started out from the gates. This time, we have a relative idea of where we are. If we were to only travel by daylight, we're three and a half days away—at most. We're going to have to travel at night as well. We'll get there." The resolution echoed in Sakura's voice. There would be no other outcome.

"I'm going to slow us down."

"No, you won't."

Sakura turned around, her body still crouched.

"Get on."

"Sakura . . ."

"Hurry. I want to stop by the camp to get some of the Peasant Berries."

"Okay." She could hear the thickness of tears in the brunette's voice but chose to remain quiet on the matter. It was most likely stress.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Carrying Tenten wasn't too difficult, Sakura had always had a decent amount of raw strength. What she did find difficult was navigating the terrain in the dark. She had Tenten hold out a long stick in front of them so that she didn't run into trees. It helped, but she would still stumble over roots and unleveled ground. It was frustrating, and she knew that they were wasting precious time.

"Let's take a break."

Tenten hummed in agreement before plopping down on the ground. A sigh escaped her lips.

"Just leave me behind."

Sakura ignored her. She was too busy trying to find a solution to their problem. She pursed her lips.

What if . . .

"Think! You know what they're trying to simulate." Still, she ignored Tenten.

An idea popped into her head. She had never tried it before, but she still had a little over half of her chakra reserves. Yes, she could try to . . .

"If I get injured behind enemy lines," Tenten swallowed thickly, "You take my weapons pouch and my headband, anything that ties me back to the village. And, you leave me behind."

Sakura's head snapped up. She could barely make out the brunette's silhouette, but she made sure to lean in as close as she could get.

She could feel Tenten's breaths coming out in short puffs. Her leg must have been causing her a lot of pain.

"Shut up," the pinkette hissed. "Who cares if it's a test? You're injured, and I know for _sure_ that there are medical rooms stocked with things you _need_ in that tower."

"And if this were to happen on a real mission? What then, Sakura?" Her voice was shrill again.

"I'm not leaving you." It was as simple as that. Why didn't Tenten understand? "Now, quiet. I'm trying to think."

She could try to push her chakra out in small waves. A shinobi version of echolocation. She closed her eyes in concentration. Inhale. One. Two. Three. Exhale. Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.

It was like looking at a foggy morning. There was an awareness of solid objects but no clarity. She tried connecting the chakra being sent out instead of sending out independent waves with clear beginnings and ends. Slowly, she could feel clarity seeping into her awareness.

Wow.

Every living thing held chakra—the trees (from root to stem to the tips of their leaves), the grass, the insects, the sleeping birds. She could feel them. She didn't have a large range, but it was enough to guide them through the night. Maybe, she could simultaneously cycle chakra to her legs to make up for lost time? It was worth a try.

"Hop on. Keep the stick in front, just in case."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

By the time it was midmorning (she could only guess it was midmorning), Sakura let herself take a break. Her chakra was low, and her muscles burned from overuse. Her lungs burned, too. Despite her morning runs, she had never pushed herself for so many hours on end. She carefully set, a sleeping, Tenten down under thick shrubbery to keep her from the brunt of the rain that continued to fall—there wasn't any time to build a shelter.

Sometime during first light, which was when the rain began to fall, she had felt Tenten's grip on her go slack. It had almost sent them tumbling to the ground at high speeds, but she managed to save them by crashing on her knees. She had actually been very thankful for the mud, then.

She chewed on the last of their leafy greens and Peasant Berries as she collected rainwater in a large leaf. She would have to coax it down Tenten's throat.

She rested the older girl's head on her lap as she poured the water into her mouth. She was careful to not give her too much at a time. She messaged her throat to make sure it went down. For the first time in a while, she thought of the day when she watched over Naruto and Sasuke as they lay beaten, bloody, and unconscious at her feet. Strangely enough, the most vivid sensation that she could remember from then was the chill in her bones. In retrospect, she knew it was the shock and terror coursing through her body that caused her to feel a chill that she couldn't quite get rid of. 

She had blocked out the event after the attack, but here she was again in the Forbidden Forest watching over an ill person with the same lingering chill in her bones. She felt just as tired as she had then. Her eyes were beginning to droop shut, but a soft whisper escaped Tenten's lips. It caught her attention enough to focus on what she was trying to say.

"Lee."

Sakura stiffened and her throat felt too narrow. A soft cry came from the brunette. It tugged at Sakura's heartstrings. Unconsciously, her hand raised to stroke the brunette's hair. She was surprised when she realized it, but she gave in to the instinct of her softer side. 

"Sh. Sh."

The rain masked both of their tears.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

She ran as fast as she could with the aid of her chakra. Tenten had yet to wake up, and this worried her. The older girl needed medical attention. Sakura knew she was close to the tower, but it had been a while since she had last scoped from the treetops. She knew that she was at a point where she couldn't waste time or chakra climbing up the trees to check. All she knew is that she was going in the right direction. The rain had stopped, but the daylight glowing from the grey clouds was fading faster by the minute. They were in the middle of twilight, and soon night would set in.

She was panicking, now.

She knew that she was scraping the bottom of her chakra reserves, and if they were caught after nightfall, she wouldn't be able to echolocate their way to the tower. Tenten would only get worse.

A pessimistic and morbid curiosity asked if there was a chance that Tenten could die? Damn it! She was supposed to look out for the older girl, for Lee.

No, she could make it. She had to make it.

Her heart hammered painfully in her chest, and there was a heaviness that not only clung to her body but to her soul. She could feel a strange pattern settle in her breathing. Oh no! She could not have any form of an anxiety attack right now.

A deeper chill settled into her bones that caused her fingers and toes to go numb. She wheezed for air; it was like breathing in through a straw. Her mind became foggy, but her instincts pumped more chakra to her legs. Just a little further, _please_.

But, her body gave out.

She just couldn't go on anymore.

Her knees crashed into the mud. The cuts on her legs stung.

Her arms and shoulders shook with exertion. Tenten felt like a boulder on her back.

No, she must continue. She owed it to Lee to take care of his teammate. She just had to get her breathing to even out, but it was so hard to get enough oxygen to her lungs, into her brain.

Black spots clouded her vision, and she was so angry at herself! So angry, that fat hot tears rolled off her cheeks.

As Sakura battled with herself and her body, she didn't notice that the weight on her shoulders had been lifted and a lighter one rested on her head.

"Breathe, Haruno." The deep timber in his voice caught her attention enough to look up.

She stared wide-eyed into a dark sharp gaze. Ibiki.

He was crouched in front of her with his right hand on her head. His index finger tapped lightly on her in increments that mimicked a normal breathing pattern. She forced her breath to match it.

When he saw that she was coherent enough, he stood. As she became lucid enough to look around, she noticed that she was kneeling in front of the tower. A crazed and hollow giggle left her throat.

"Good work, Haruno. You made it here with five hours to spare."

She kneeled over.


	8. The Past: Carry On Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unit 10 keeps training and growing stronger. Ibiki teaches them a valuable lesson, but is the price of their learning too high?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning*: This chapter contains violence near the end.

* * *

_A yellow kite soared in the distance. She reached out as if she had the capability to pluck it from the sky. Emptiness met her hand, and a sinking feeling settled in her bones. Soon she heard the sound of tiny droplets. Drip. Drip. Drip._

' _It must be raining,' she thought to herself. After all, what else could it be? The foreboding did not leave her, and she feared what would follow. She did not want to hear how the many lost ones wailed. It left her feeling cold._

When she opened her eyes, she awoke to florescent lights and a dreadful chill in her body. She painstakingly willed herself to sit up. As she did so, she noticed an IV line in her arm and the clip of a heartbeat monitor on one of her fingers. A steady rhythm filled her ears as she gained her bearings. Was she in a hospital? She looked around slowly and found a few other patients in the room with her. Only one was awake. Abruptly, memories of the survival training exercise seeped to the forefront of her mind. They must be in the tower.

The guy in the room waved at her, an easy-going expression on his face. It was the guy with the lightning whips. What was his name?

"You're awake!"

"Yes. Hello. Are we in the tower?" Her throat was raspy from being unused.

He nodded. "Yes. You were already here when they brought me in. Gin over there came after. Both of you have a nasty case of chakra depletion."  
"How do you know?"

"I chatted up the nurses." She snorted at his cheek. "You're Haruno, Sakura, right?"

"Yes. Did the nurses give you my entire medical chart?" He chuckled at her small quip.

"No. This is all my own research. You were on a team with the Uchiha defector and that kid that went to train with the sannin." There was no question in his tone, and she found it hard to keep a neutral expression. Where was he going with this? "And your _sensei_ was _the_ Copy-cat Kakashi. He's a legend. Almost every territory I've been to knows about him. What's he like?"

Oh great, a Kakashi fan.

"He's . . ." 'unreliable, lazy, always late, an asshole, but . . . that was just a front. She had no clue what he was really like.

"He's exactly like they say." She made sure to smile warmly, and before he could go on she asked, "By the way, since you know so much, do you happen to know where my partner is?"

"Sure. She's in another room in this hallway. I think my teammate is in the same room. They were both really beat up."

"Thanks."

She pulled out the IV needle in her arm and shuffled to get out of the bed. The more she moved the colder and weaker she felt.  
"Hey, you should probably rest."

She waved him off before promptly flopping to the hard floor. A curse left her lips. The sensation of pins and needles coursed through her limbs and she had to take a few deep breaths to steady her discomfort. Shivers coursed through her as if the winter snows had already approached.

She was suddenly lifted up from the floor by her arms and set on the bed again. The shock blanket that she had discarded earlier was laid on her shoulders. It did little to make her feel warm, but it did give her some comfort.

"Thanks . . . Uh . . . Sorry, I don't quite know your name."

"Name's Botan."

"Thanks, Botan-san."

"I can already tell you're going to try again. Here, hold on. I'm going to go borrow a wheelchair."

He left the room, and she was left with no other choice but to wait for him. Contrary to his belief she had actually thought about collapsing back into the bed and sleep off her exhaustion. Unfortunately, the chill in her bones would probably not let her. It was strange. This was the first time that she had ever experienced chakra depletion symptoms. It was like a small unspoken rite of passage between all shinobi.

She looked over to where the other occupant in the room was and found the girl, Gin, staring at her. Her expression was heavy enough to make Sakura feel uncomfortable.

"Hello, Gin-san. I apologize if we woke you."

Gin didn't say anything. Sakura smiled pleasantly before looking away. She hoped Botan wouldn't be too long.

The door opened and true to his word, he had brought the wheelchair. Before she could even move, he lifted her effortlessly, which elicited an undignified squeak from her. She blushed as she was settled into the seat. She chuckled nervously and thanked him. They were soon moving out into the hall.

"You don't have to push me! I think I can manage, Botan-san," she was trying to sound calm and dignified like her mother had taught her, but she was suddenly feeling particularly bashful. Botan was such a bold person.

"No worries, Sakura-san. I'm also looking for my teammate. The guy was really beaten up. Need to make sure he's doing okay. He hates hospitals, you see. He'll be feeling a bit angsty when he wakes up and doesn't at least see my handsome face."

"You seem very close to your field partner." He hummed in agreement, and she suddenly worried about Tenten. She didn't know how Tenten would react to being in a hospital, not after what happened to Lee.

They turned to open a door, but inside the room, they found the white and blue teams. Only Minoru, the guy that she had fought, was awake. Botan greeted him warmly, but Minoru tilted his head away to ignore them. Botan shrugged before leading them away to continue down the hall.

"Touchy guy, that one. Reminds me of a cat my uncle had when I was a kid."

She snickered. Minoru reminded Botan of a cat, but Minoru reminded her of Sasuke. The comparison of her teammate to a cat was uncanny, but it fit. She suddenly remembered the dreadful D-rank mission they had had to complete to find Tora the cat. Naruto had wondered why it had liked Sasuke so much. The thought made her smile.

They turned into another room where they found their teammates and the other member of the grey team. They were all awake.

"Yo," Botan greeted.

She caught Botan's partner lessen his grip on his bedsheets before gracing them with a gentle smile. Botan wheeled her over to Tenten before making his way over to his teammate. Tenten's leg was propped up and bandage, but otherwise, she seemed fine.

"Tenten."

"Sakura."

Now that she was in front of the brunette, she wasn't sure what to say. 'We made it,' 'I'm glad you're okay,' 'I hope you feel better'?

All were valid things to say, but they all seemed to bring up Tenten's moment of vulnerability. Although she wasn't close to her, she was sure the brunette hated being weak, no matter how uncontrollable the situation was.

"I wonder when they'll feed us. I'm starving." She cringed internally at how lame she sounded. However, Tenten's frame seemed to relax minutely, and she even chuckled under her breath.

"I could eat as much as an Akimichi right now."

"Hear! Hear!" Botan agreed from across the room, and at that very moment, a nurse walked in.

"What are you two doing up? You should be in bed resting! Chakra depletion is not a joke!" Botan tried his best to charm the nurse into letting them stay but to no avail. She was wheeled away by the stern nurse, only managing to wave hastily back to Tenten. The trip back to her bed was filled with a long lecture from the nurse and an unapologetically flirtatious Botan, which the nurse did not appreciate.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The following week was dull. They were all on mandatory rest, which was fine by her. Her body had needed uninterrupted healing, and the best part was that they had received food, real food—not ration bars, or pills. The only thing that she could complain about was that Gin kept giving her random glares. She was mad over something, but Sakura was at a loss over what it could be.

At least, when she was given the clear to meditate she could tune her out. She would just close her eyes and focus on balance, breath, and body.

A week went by and soon they were all given the clear to move around, which is when Ibiki came to see them. He had gathered them all in the room that mimicked a classroom setting. He stood stony-faced in front of them. This made them tense and anxious at what he could possibly say.

"Red, Green, and Grey teams got here on time. White and Blue teams, you will receive extra training to get you to where you need to be. In the meantime, we will go over the simulation again."

They all paled. Did that mean that they had to do it all over again?

"That is, we'll be going over the theory behind this simulation and the different options you could have taken. We'll go over other ones as well. You will also learn protocols, signals, and covert techniques. Any questions?"

"How long will we be staying here?"

"We will be here until midwinter."

Everyone raised their brows at that. The time frame that he gave them was roughly about seven weeks.

"Everyone's direct gradians have been notified that you are taking a courier mission out of the village."

Well at least her parents wouldn't worry too much, and she could get out of going to that wedding that her mother had been droning on about.

"Let's begin," Ibiki announced, and so their fates were set in stone.

Ibiki had a terrifying reputation that even civilians knew of as the head of T&I and a veteran soldier of the Third Shinobi War, but he was a better instructor than he was given credit for. Like any instructor, he gave lectures and copious amounts of homework, but he pushed everyone to ask questions, to take every little detail into account, to see the bigger picture, and most importantly he taught them to always stay on guard. Despite being in a classroom where he would present topics of discussion and order them to read thick files of declassified missions, he fashioned random darts around the room with a substance that would send neurotransmitters through the body to elicit pain. The first one to get hit had been Hiroshi. He had cursed loudly before doubling over.

"Never let your guard down! That is the most important thing I can teach you. You may have the speed, the power, and the wit, but if you think that for one second you are safe even in your own village then you are dead and Konoha has no use for dead soldiers."

Through the progression of the weeks, all of them had been hit at least once, others much more, which would then prompt Ibiki to give them extra speed-based training.

After the first time getting hit, Sakura learned to continuously cycle chakra through her body. At first, it took a lot of concentration, which Ibiki, as if sensing her distraction, would pick on her relentlessly during lessons. The pressure made her adapt, though. She soon cycled her chakra instinctively.

After lessons, he had them all spar against each other, so as to introduce them to different fighting styles that they could potentially encounter in the future.

"Participation is a must, Haruno."

"Hai."

She lost and she won, same as the others, but for the first time ever, she felt equal. During these spars, her fighting style and speed earned her many wins, but what Ibiki had noted, which was as good as approval from him, was that she analyzed her opponents effectively enough to gain the upper hand despite not having the same power or reach. All of her squad members were strong, but her trickiest opponents ended up being Gin and Hiroshi.

The tall girl was a natural sensor, therefore genjutsu did not work on her quite well. Most of the time she would have to rely on her speed, but even then, Gin was an aggressive competitor. It also didn't help that the girl seemed to abhor her, but that only aided Sakura as sometimes she would use Gin's anger against her. As Ibiki had once said in class, the strongest fighter is the one that is never angry.

Hiroshi on the other hand was also a strong genjutsu user. Where she specialized in mind genjutsu, he specialized in environmental genjutsu. He crafted as if he were a deity meant to rule the human realm. Not only so, he was as unpredictable as Naruto whenever he fought, but instead of lighthearted energy, Hiroshi had chaotic energy that came off as psychotic.

By the time spars would come to an end and they were all fed, Sakura would share a room with Tenten, and most nights, because sleep seemed to evade them both, they would go over lessons and formulate their own scenarios, but as time went by those discussions transformed into a morbid game.

"Die by a giant summon crushing you or get ripped to shreds by tiny summons?"

"The big one sure. You?"

"For sure. End it in an instant."

Soon the season changed and the air became cold enough that their breaths could be seen in small puffs. They were each given a single cloak.

Their last lesson in the tower was something that she excelled at: chakra cycling. As she looked around the room, she witnessed how her peers struggled with finding a connection to their chakra, or how they could not cycle it at a sufficient pace. When she looked up at Ibiki, she found his gaze already on her, a knowing smirk passed through his expression. For the rest of the day she helped a frustrated Tenten coax her sluggish chakra to follow her command.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

What followed the end of lessons was a winter storm and another survival exercise. They were given a compass, a backpack with weapons and supplies, radio earpieces, and a location in the forest. They all made it to the location, which ended up being a tent where Ibiki provided them with warm food, but instead of letting them go, he told them to survive for two weeks in the frosted forest. They all but cried.

Although winter passed through the Leaf village every year, it was always brief. The summers were the longest season they experienced, and thus when winter came for a few short weeks, many people stayed inside to spend time with their families. It was an unspoken vacation for many villagers.

Now she understood why Ibiki had taught them to cycle their chakra, it was a tool to survive the harsh frigid conditions that they would encounter. Chakra cycling, as she found out during Ibiki's lesson had levels. At its first level, it was a way to ground and center the body, many referred to this level as meditation. At its last level, it augmented a user's physical capability. Somewhere in between those two points, cycling chakra through the body provided heat as a byproduct that would keep hypothermia at bay, provided you had enough chakra to work with.

This time as they headed into the forest, although the conditions were hazardous, they both felt more prepared, and thanks to Sakura's novice sensing skills they settled down in an area covered by pine trees and thick perennial shrubbery that would give them some reprieve from potential wind fronts. They were also less than a kilometer away from a stream that they were both sure would supply them with fish and maybe some edible moss.

Tenten took charge by building most of the shelter, making sure to put an extra layer of pine branches on the floor of their shelter to separate them from the cold of the ground. Sakura had wood collection duty, and the responsibility to start a fire. Soon after, they set traps around the location. They weren't sure if Anko would be sent to attack them, but as Ibiki had ingrained into them, you could never let your guard down. Thanks to Naruto teaching her how to make better traps, they relied on most of his models to alert and possibly maim anyone who would try to sneak upon them. They would not run away; they would hold this spot. Their survival depended on it.

When there was nothing else to do but wait around the fire as the air bit their skin, they both took a moment to admire their surroundings. The air was thin and crisp. The snow that blanketed the land glowed ethereally and all was quiet. The only thing they could hear was the crackle of their fire and their own heartbeats. It was quite peaceful.

Eventually, as they had suspected, Anko arrived.

"Ready, girls?"

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Sakura stretched her arms up and sighed in relief as she heard a few resounding pops from her back. She was finally allowed to leave T&I's infirmary ward. She had been surprised to learn that they practically had their own functioning hospital with many doctors and nurses to staff it. It also explained why the building always smelled like one, and not only that, it was vast. There were levels for their agents, in case they were hurt within the building or during training, and then there were levels for the criminals that were interrogated there. Patching them up quickly was part of the horror, apparently. As she heard from Botan, after he did a bit of snooping around, those levels were always busy because the building certainly lived up to its infamy.

She walked home clutching her winter cloak around her as the wind still had a chilly quality to it. The snow was almost all gone, and as she walked on, she saw that the villagers were back to their normal routines. The sleepy haze that the snow had brought had lifted, and suddenly the village stores, restaurants, and venues were bustling with activity.

As she sidestepped around a few people on the streets, she thought back to her squad's survival exercise. This time they had all performed adequately enough for Ibiki to pass them. The white and blue teams had improved their speed, and everyone had fared better against Anko's attacks. By the end of the two weeks, they had been told to navigate to gate B where they would gather and wait for further instructions. They all looked miserably cold and jittery, but no one seemed to be close to toppling over.

Ibiki had led them back to T&I, where they were all checked into the hospital so that their bodies could be monitored and their superficial wounds could heal. No one complained, they would at least get real food again. That seemed to be the best part about being in the hospital.

She neared her house and noted that someone had bought the house next to them, the one that had belonged to Ms. Ito. There were kids playing in the yard. She smiled and waved at them as she passed by. As soon as she entered her home, she took off her shoes, discarding them neatly at the entrance, and headed straight for her room. She needed change into something her mother would approve of.

Only steps from her room she almost collided with a small body, which certainly gave her a shock. She looked down at them, and they stared up at her, a timid expression marring their young face.

Why was there a kid in her home? Who was he?

"Oh Sakura, you're home! Souta, this is Sakura."

The little boy brightened up and waved a small hand to her.

"Okaeri, Nee-san!" 'Nee-san?'

Her throat closed up and her mouth felt dry. She managed a small grin and polite nod as words failed to come forth. Her questioning gaze found her mother's. 'Why is he here?'

"Wash up, Sakura." 'We'll talk later.'

"Come, Souta, let's go set the table!" She was left alone standing in a daze in front of her room.

When dinner came it was a different affair than what she was used to. Souta chatted away with her mother, talking about the most random things with mirth and curiosity. Even her father would chime in sometimes. Something strange plagued her, though. It was a feeling of sadness. One that she did not know the origin to. She supposed it might be the beginnings of jealousy, but that wasn't quite right. She enjoyed seeing her mother happy and marveled at her father's interest in anything but a newspaper or book. She preferred the chatter to the endless quiet. Souta seemed like a nice kid. Yet, something twisted her heart and left her speechless and cold. When they finished eating Souta went with her father to play a game of shogi, while she and her mother were left to clean up.

As she lathered the dishes with soap and scrubbed them, she felt her mother's attention on her. She probably thought that Sakura wouldn't notice, but shinobi senses were quite attuned to things like that. She began rinsing the plates when her mother decided to speak up. Her voice was soft and quiet, different than her strong shrill one.

"A few days after you left, I went to the market for some carrots and sweet potatoes. He thought I didn't notice him following me, but honestly, he was so filthy and skinny. How could you not notice him? I grabbed him a warm meal and hinted to him that I might be back in the market the next day. I didn't think he would be there it was raining so hard, but he was. This went on for three weeks, but the weather was getting colder. One day he didn't show up."

Her mother paused. Sakura could tell she was caught up in a memory that she found difficult to talk about. Her mother, much like Tenten, hated showing vulnerability.

"I went to go look for him. I must have looked like a madman searching the marketplace. I asked everyone about a boy matching his description. No one knew a thing. No one cared much. The attack left many orphans . . . However, I was told of a place in the red-light district where many beggars gather."

"You went there alone?" Her mother hummed in affirmation.

"I borrowed a kunai from you. I think it's still in my purse. Anyhow, I went searching the campground. It took all night. Your father was so worried. I hadn't told him where I was going, you see," her mother tittered in amusement, "Absolutely furious I had gone without him! I got Souta, though. He had been curled up in a corner under some trash sick with a fever. The poor boy was shaking like a leaf, a summer child he is. We nursed him back to health, and he's been here ever since."

"I see."

"He's your brother now." Sakura's hands stilled, and her frame tensed. The twisting in her chest was present again.

"Yes, oka-sama."

"I'm glad you're back safely, Sakura. You look better than the last time you were here."

Sakura dried her hands on a towel before turning to face her mother.

They smiled lightly at each other before going about their business. 'I love you.'

When the house was quiet and not even a light was on, Sakura stared up at her ceiling. Small rivulets of tears unconsciously leaked from her eyes.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

She ran the perimeter of the village reveling in the burn of her calves and chest. Her shoes and legs were coated in mud. Now that spring was arriving, random showers blessed Konoha with their presence and fed the blooming flora. She looked up to the sky and was sure that the day was going to be a sunny one as there wasn't the hint of a cloud in sight. Soon the sun would be emerging from behind the Hokage Rock dousing the rooftops in a shimmer of gold.

When she was done with her morning run, she found herself walking to the bench where Sasuke had left her. The stone bench was cold beneath her, and goose pimples formed on her skin. She breathed in the fresh morning air and allowed her mind to wonder about her wayward teammates.

"Sakura?"

She looked up. Lustrous blonde hair caught her attention. Ino. She had noticed that someone had tailed her near the very end of her run, but they had kept their distance, until now. She must have been spotted when she passed the shopping district. After all, that was where the Yamanaka flower shop was.

They hadn't spoken to each other in a while, though. They were not on bad terms, but they weren't close anymore. "Ohayo, Ino."

She moved over to make room for the other girl to sit. Ino had a hesitant expression on her face, which looked out of place in Sakura's opinion. 'Ino' and 'confidence' were practically synonymous in her dictionary.

"What's on your mind, Ino?"

"You tell me, Forehead."

"I can't read minds, Pig."

"Where have you been? I went to your house. Not once . . . I went there for three weeks straight . . . Your mother said you were busy on a mission, but I didn't see you on the mission roster."

"I obviously wasn't on a mission, then."

Ino shoved her lightly with her shoulder, and annoyance settled on her features. She was so easy to rile up when she didn't get her way.

"Alright then. I'm working for T&I, now. Unit 9, research and archives. It's mainly a lot of reading and recording. I was away for a month learning the ropes of the job, but I didn't want to tell my parents. They would only hear the words Torture and Interrogation. You know how they can be."

Would Ino accept it?

"Hmm. Your parents can be a little overbearing, for sure. I remember begging them to let you sleepover, and let's not even talk about convincing them into letting you join the academy!"

Hmm, Ibiki's training did help after all. She wasn't a master liar. That title could easily go to the green team. Botan could talk you in a circle for hours picking up tidbits of information, while Zenjiro, his partner, had a strange impulsive kleptomaniac tendency. He would always feel guilty about it in the aftermath and would return the item in question claiming he had 'borrowed' or 'found' it. When Ibiki gave them a test to see how well they lied, the green team passed with flying colors. Although not as great as them, she got by just fine, Ibiki would not accept anything less.

"I'm sorry. I haven't been around, Ino. And I'm really sorry about our stupid falling out."

"I'm sorry, too. I was just as bad, you know, but it's all water under the bridge. You know, I'm glad you're working in T&I."

"Really? Why's that?"

"Because I get to be your boss when I'm older." They both laughed at that. Yamanakas were all integrated into either internal village security or T&I due to their clan's mind techniques. Ino's father was not only the head of the clan but also the head of the analysis team at T&I.

"I'd quit on the spot. Pension be damned."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Unit 10 was gathered in one of the lowest levels of T&I. Around them only white walls and floors existed. It was quite a clinical setting. They were all nervous. Ibiki had had just given them weeks of torture and interrogation technique lessons. The last time he had taught them something, he made sure to make them put it to use as soon as they could. Would they be made to torture someone? Her hands felt a little clammy, and she could hear the loud beating of her heart. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

They heard footsteps approaching. The group turned to face Ibiki. His face was unreadable.

"Today will be the last day of lessons before you are sent out in the field. All of you have been quick to learn and driven to get stronger. You have made this worth it, and for that, I sincerely thank each and every one of you. You will help protect the will of fire that breathes life and blessings onto the citizens of Konohagakure. You will be an unrecognized wall that stands between our people and the next attack, but you will not let them take what is yours."

He paused letting them soak in and process his words.

"There is one last thing that I must teach you, and with this, you will prove to Konoha and to yourself that you will be its shield and its blade. Follow me."

She swallowed thickly before moving with the rest. They entered a room with a glass two-way mirror, and on the other side of the glass, they saw prisoners lined up in chairs. Their heads were covered by cloth bags, and their legs and hands were tied. She also noticed glimpses of chakra suppression seals on their arms. Their clothes looked faded, dirty, and ripped in various places.

"These men and women were part of the invasion." She glanced over to Tenten and found a hard look upon her face. "They have been confirmed to have killed civilians and leaf shinobi alike. For their crimes, they have been sentenced to be executed. Today you will be the executioner. For some, this will be your first kill. If you cannot do this, then get out. Konoha has no use for you."

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

"Line up in the order you want to go in."

They glanced around at each other, anxious eyes opened wide and pupils dilated, but they did not move. They were frozen like stone.

"Move! Now," Ibiki's voice boomed.

Somehow, she found herself at the end of the line. They walked in a single file, and when they opened the door their noses met with fear. On closer inspection, there were only ten people—one kill for each of them. They each stopped in front of a prisoner; the woman in front of her was slumped in her chair from exhaustion. She could see strands of auburn hair peeking out from under the cloth covering.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

She looked to her left and saw that Tenten was in the middle of the line. First, was Minoru followed by Gin, Harue, Tsubasa, Tenten, Hiroshi, Kita, Zenjiro, Botan, and herself.

"Today will be the day you die by the law of Konoha," Ibiki's voice was monotoned as he addressed the prisoners. Some of the prisoners struggled against their restraints at the announcement. The woman in front of her lifted her head to reveal dark patches that only grew as she whimpered.

They were each handed a kunai and signaled to begin. Minoru's face scrunched up as he stepped towards his target. From her spot down the line, she saw the tremor of his hand. This was his first kill.

Although, she had already had her first kill. The situation had been life or death, and that had helped her ease her guilt. But, this? It felt wrong. It made her feel sick to her stomach.

It was Tenten's turn, and what Sakura found there made her pity her partner. There was fear, but above all there was anger. And suddenly, Lee's death was no longer a whisper but a scream. Sakura looked away.

The man that was beside her target was sobbing, and she noted how deep and velvety his voice sounded. She sighed. She was focusing on inconsequential details, now.

This test was clear coercion and brainwashing. It was something that was necessary to train soldiers. When morality and fear were remembered in the field, and death loomed at every corner, and a small internal voice began to ask 'why', this mantra: 'for your people, for your freedom, for the will of fire' began to drum up the courage to carry on. It was but a tiny thread of internalized propaganda that kept a soldier grounded.

Botan's elbow knocked into her side bringing her out of her musings. His eyes motioned to her target, and suddenly she realized that all the other prisoners were dead. It was her turn. The woman in front of her sniffled and gasped as she found it hard to breathe through the tear-dampened cloth. She felt her face grimace as she stepped up to the woman, but as she moved to lift the kunai across the woman's throat, she stopped.

She could practically feel the room tense as she did so, and she began to hear the faint swish of Ibiki's clothes as he drew near. Before he could reach her, she tore off the cloth bag from the woman's head. Confused amber eyes met her gaze. They hardened at the sight of Sakura. 'Good. Be angry at me. Hate me for what I'm about to do.'

She cycled chakra through her body and as swiftly as she could, she swiped her kunai horizontally in front of her. For a moment, perhaps the span of three heartbeats, the woman, as well as her body, did not comprehend that their life had ended. When the realization set in, she made a gurgling noise as blood poured from her wound. Sakura did not back away, she stayed with her target, going as far as placing a hand on her shoulder until death came to collect what was owed to it. She steeled her gaze before look up to Ibiki. He gave her a long look before nodding and walking past her. They all followed him out. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.

* * *


End file.
